And if you need anything, anything at all, you call me.”
Call me. Everyone said it, but he was never sure how much people meant it. Like he and Jimenez had never hung out off-duty before the accident. Was he supposed to call him for a favor now? Did the guy really want to fetch Garrick some groceries or was he simply being nice? Not knowing made Garrick frustrated with these sorts of offers, but he couldn’t show it, could only nod. “Thanks.”
“Okay, dog stuff obtained!” Rain came striding toward the car, wide smile still in place as he pushed a cart with a big bag of chow and a fluffy pet bed a ridiculous shade of bubblegum pink. Some of his hair had come loose, curls spilling down his face. In the sunlight, the shimmer on his shirt was more evident, making him look ready for clubbing, not a farm store.
And Jimenez, the worst gossip on the crew, went all bug-eyed. “You getting a dog?”
“Meet Cookie. She’s temporary. And this is Rain. My neighbor.” Garrick refused to get flustered over any assumptions Jimenez wanted to make. And it wasn’t like Jimenez, who had a well-earned rep as the worst sort of love-them-and-leave-them player, was in any position to judge who Garrick hung around with.
“Ah. Gotcha.” Jimenez shook Rain’s hand before his companion tugged on his arm, reminding him of their errand for flowers. “We’ll catch up later. And I mean it, Nelson. You call me. Can’t wait to see you back out there.”
“Me too.” Garrick nodded even as he knew the chances of him calling Jimenez were slim. And as for getting back on the crew...well, he was trying. Every damn day. A little further. A little faster. He’d hadn’t come this far to fail.
“Sorry if I cut short your conversation with your friend,” Rain said as he loaded his purchases next to Cookie.
“Nah. It’s okay. I’m sure he needed to get on with his day.”
“Is it...” Rain started to ask something then trailed off as he slid behind the wheel.
“Is what?”
“Nothing. I was going to ask if it was hard, being around other smoke jumpers right now, then realized that was really nosy of me.”
“It’s okay. You can ask me about the accident. I’m not gonna bite your head off for asking questions.” Garrick might be crankier these days, but he was still himself, still happy to talk to almost anyone and wasn’t one to make certain topics taboo, even if he’d rather listen to his dad discuss the minutiae of new horse tack than recount that day of the accident. And as to Rain’s specific question, he had to pause, flip response at the ready. But strangely what came out was closer to the truth. “And sometimes. I mean, I love seeing my buddies. But yeah...sometimes it’s...different.”
Different. That was it. Not hard precisely, although it could be that too, but different. Changed. And he hated it even as he tried to ignore those feelings, the jumble of emotions better left shoved in the crawlspaces of his psyche, not strewn about for public consumption.
“I bet.” Rain’s look was sympathetic, but he didn’t press, instead backing out of the space and heading toward their neighborhood without needing further directions. He was a quick study, something Garrick appreciated in a person. Perceptive too, not continuing down that line of conversation. “Is it okay if I park in your driveway while we unload?”
“Of course.” Speaking of ignoring things, Garrick tried to squelch the weird mix of anticipation and dread at the prospect of having Rain in his space. A million years ago, he would have known exactly what to do with his Saturday, wouldn’t have had dog-proofing remotely on the agenda, and would have needed a cutie like Rain for far sexier purposes. Different. That was his life now and there was nothing served by dwelling on the less-than-fun parts. All he could do was go forward. He’d make the best of this situation with the dog, same as he did any other. And if that meant enjoying Rain’s company a little longer...well, he was only human, after all.
* * *
As they unloaded in the driveway, Garrick’s demeanor had a certain stiffness that hadn’t been there earlier—lines around his mouth, hunched shoulders—and Rain hated it. He should have known better than to bring up unhappy topics. But he’d seen how tense Garrick was around his fellow smoke jumper. Watching them, his chest had pinched in an unfamiliar way. At first he’d wondered