and let her arms and legs splay in straight lines like a stick doll. ‘His name’s Emil, and he’s possibly the most beautiful man I’ve ever seen. Ever.’ She arched an eyebrow, suspicious that it was so quiet – and tidy. ‘Where are the boys?’
Tove groaned. ‘Running,’ she said, batting her hand dismissively. ‘Bodies, temples, all that jazz. But forget them. Emil. Emil. Tell me everything. Who is he? Where is he? And when am I gonna meet him?’
‘I don’t know, I don’t know and I don’t know,’ Bell grinned. ‘He just took off in his boat. Could have gone anywhere,’ she sighed with an easy shrug.
‘And you don’t know where?’
Bell shook her head with a happy sigh. ‘Nope.’
Tove stared at her like she was delirious. ‘What is wrong with you? Why would you let the most beautiful man you ever saw take off in his boat, without knowing where he was going?’
Bell ignored the question, smiling happily, tipping her head back and reliving the memories. She sighed, remembering his hands, his mouth on her neck . . .
‘Oh my God, just look at you! I don’t even need to ask.’
Bell rolled her head to the side. ‘Best sex of my life, Tove. I swear to God, it was like . . .’ She narrowed her eyes, trying to put it into words. ‘It was like it was his first time, almost. But in a good way! I mean, the way he looked at me, and touched me . . . I felt like a goddess.’
Tove’s jaw dropped down. ‘And yet, I refer you to my previous question.’
Bell arched an eyebrow. ‘Well, I don’t want to fall in love with him Tove.’
‘Yeah, that would be bad. It’ll inevitably end and then your life will be shit again. Sure, I see that,’ she drawled.
‘Says you.’ Tove never mentioned it, but Bell knew perfectly well that her friend liked to be the one to do the leaving ever since she had discovered that her long-term boyfriend had bedded all her friends.
‘Yeah, but you’re not me. You’ve actually got a heart.’
‘Well, thanks, but I’m perfectly happy with current arrangements. Hot man on a boat? Hell yes. Thank you, next.’
Tove reached an arm over and squeezed her hand affectionately. ‘Babe, not every guy you love is going to die on you.’
‘You don’t know that,’ Bell said, throwing her the side-eye. ‘And besides, you think I’m not ready? He is nowhere close. Believe me. His wife, child and father all died in an accident. He lost them all.’
‘Fuck!’ Tove whispered.
‘I know. It’s so awful.’
‘What happened to them?’
‘He didn’t say, and I didn’t like to ask.’
‘God, so he’s beautiful and vulnerable?’ Tove mumbled. ‘No wonder you got with him.’
‘Mmm.’ She sighed, remembering how he’d been staring into space as she woke up this morning, a look of unbearable sadness on his face. She didn’t know if he’d ever recover from it, but if he did, it wouldn’t be any time soon. He was damaged, like her, a fatal crack running through them both.
‘And he had a boat too?’
Bell laughed. ‘Oh, trust me, that was the least beautiful thing about it! This was not some fancy-pants gin palace. I was just grateful it wasn’t taking on water.’
‘I’ll say, with all that rocking that must have been going on –’
They cackled with laughter together.
‘How about you?’ Bell asked, looking over at her friend.
‘Agh, you know. My usual.’ She shrugged. ‘Wham-bam-thank-you-dude. I didn’t stay over. But he was fun. It was a good Midsommar’s.’
They lapsed into silence, both of them tired. Bell let her head drop back onto the headrest, her fingers interlacing across her stomach. ‘Shame we can’t go back and do it all again, really,’ she murmured, thinking back to Friday and her inauspicious first meeting with Emil – the terse nod in the store, his reluctant chivalry, the sight of him unsmiling and stiff in the crowd. She’d had absolutely no inkling then of what was going to happen between them. If her Self of right now could have gone up to her Self of yesterday and told her what was going to happen, she would not have believed it. Nothing would have made her believe she was going to turn the shortest night into the longest one, staying awake all night in his arms . . . And yet, it had all happened, been so natural. With his baseball cap off so she could see his eyes, when her dress had come off and he