Mats shook his head. ‘I’m the one that got us into this mess, and if you’re going to fire me, I completely understand –’
‘I made it impossible for you,’ Emil said slowly, sounding almost reasonable. ‘Don’t quit. You promised me this season.’
‘Well, if you’re sure . . .’ Mats said, with a very relieved laugh. ‘I don’t know how you do it, mate, fighting back these knocks. Is there anything I can do to help?’
‘You could help him by not letting him take these risks,’ Dr Sorensen said, stepping in. ‘Even a cat only has nine lives. I’d appreciate it if you would personally ensure he doesn’t step foot back on that boat.’
Mats pulled a rueful face and held his hands up in surrender. ‘I can certainly stop him taking the helm again, doctor, but stop him sailing at all? It’d take a stronger man than me.’ Bell watched as he walked over and gave Emil a handshake, his loyalty still with the man who paid his salary. Money talked; it always did. ‘Anyway, look, I only stopped by to check you’re okay. I’ll pass the good news on to the crew, and we’ll speak when you’re back on your feet again, boss.’
Emil nodded.
‘Uh, Bell –’ Mats murmured, pausing as he passed. He was holding out a folded piece of paper.
‘What’s this?’ she asked, taking it. But he simply winked at her and walked on.
She opened it, to find his phone number and a message. ‘If ever you fancy a drink . . .’
She turned back, but he’d already gone.
‘What does it say?’ Linus asked her nosily.
‘Oh, it’s just . . . I just asked him for . . .’ she stammered, unable to immediately conjure a lie. ‘The name of a dentist.’
‘A dentist?’ Linus squinted quizzically. ‘Why’d you ask him?’
‘Well, h-he’s got nice teeth, hasn’t he?’
‘Pfft.’ Linus looked back at her like she was crazy. She shrugged, not daring to look up, knowing Emil was staring at her too. She hoped, with his concussion, it would sound entirely plausible to him.
‘I can recommend a good dentist if you need one,’ Dr Sorensen quipped, a lively humour dancing in her eyes, and it was quite clear she wasn’t buying the cover story.
Bell felt her cheeks flame, just as the sound of footsteps running down the corridor made them all turn. Mats, coming back?
‘I came as quickly as I could! Is he okay?’
Bell blinked in surprise as Linus gave a yell of delight and tore across the room into his mother’s arms. ‘Mamma!’
Sandhamn, 23 June 2011
‘Hey! Why aren’t you celebrating? It’s the longest day of the year,’ he said, joining her on the deck. ‘Our favourite day.’
She glanced behind her as he approached, but there was no smile this time to greet him. ‘All the days are long,’ she sighed, looking out to sea. ‘And the nights.’
He watched her, pale hair blowing in the breeze, her gaze distant as it so often was these days. ‘Hanna . . .’ His hands on her shoulders, he turned her to him.
She looked back at him, her beautiful face pale in the dusk. They understood each other at a molecular level. It was instinctive, innate. There were never any lies between them, not when their eyes met. He pushed a wisp of hair back from her face, seeing the dark circles below her eyes, the hollow dip of her cheeks. ‘You’re exhausted.’
‘Yeah, well, babies will do that to you,’ she murmured, almost too tired to shape the words. ‘I don’t know why we should all be so surprised. It does say so on the box.’
He smiled. ‘You need a decent night’s sleep.’
‘That’s just about the one luxury we can’t afford.’
‘So get a nanny.’
She shook her head. ‘No. He’s my child. I’m his mother. I want to do it myself.’ It wasn’t up for discussion. She looked away again and back at the boats on the water, their lights spilling small pools.
He stared out into the night with her, hearing the parties go on without them. In truth, he hadn’t felt like celebrating anyway.
‘. . . Things are different now, aren’t they?’ she said quietly. ‘Between us, I mean.’
He looked across at her and down again, feeling his heart thud heavily. He swallowed, knowing he couldn’t show her . . . ‘Perhaps it was to be expected. They say babies always change things.’
‘It’s been harder than I thought it would.’ She fell quiet and when she spoke again, her