meant, but he did. And she did. A deep desire in her heart that warred in many ways with that fear of being trapped. But it meant they weren’t broken. And that was a miracle she hadn’t expected.
Of course, that meant explanations. It meant bringing other people into their secret thing. She didn’t like that. If only it could just be them. Their world. Their bubble. But then, she was back to the little fantasy she had spun out in the field. When she had asked him why they couldn’t just be without labels or papers or vows. But Ryder was a man of paperwork and vows. She knew that. And who he was mattered. What he wanted mattered.
“Well, I’m engaged now,” she said, making her way purposefully over to the canning things.
The reaction was deafening.
“I didn’t think that was the whole point of your...baby thing,” Iris said.
She sighed. “This is sort of separate from the baby thing. I mean, the initial endeavor. It’s just something that happened.” She looked at Rose, who was gazing at her with wide eyes. And she figured it was as good a time as any.
“So I’m marrying your brother.”
The response was, yet again, deafening, but this time there were expletives.
“Is he the father?” Pansy asked.
“Yes,” Sammy said.
Iris and Pansy were utterly agape. Rose was still.
“I don’t even know how to...approach that,” Iris said. “I thought that the two of you were...friends. But maybe that was a little bit naive of me. To assume that you weren’t...”
“We weren’t,” Sammy said. “I mean, not until the past couple of months.”
“I knew you were acting weird,” Iris said. “That night at the saloon I knew the two of you were being strange. And frankly, I knew you’ve been strange much of the time since.”
“Well. We were. And it wasn’t supposed to be this. But it is this. So we are... We care for each other. There’s no reason in the world we can’t make it work. And nothing much is really going to change. Except, I guess I’ll be your sister somewhat legally.”
It was Rose who closed the distance between them and wrapped her arms around Sammy. “You’re my sister already,” Rose said. “But I’m really glad that you’re going to be my sister-in-law. It just seems delightfully official.”
“Yes,” Sammy said. “It does seem official.”
“You don’t like official,” Pansy said.
“I don’t really. But Ryder does. And I like him. An awful lot.”
“Are you in love with him?” Pansy asked.
That word struck a strange sort of terror into the center of Sammy’s chest.
“If ever there were such a thing as soul mates, I think he’s mine. I think we knew each other before we met. I don’t know if that makes sense. I’m sure it doesn’t. We’re that. Whatever that is.”
“That’s nice,” Iris said, far too mildly.
“I don’t know,” Pansy said. “I think you should be in love with the person that you marry.”
“Just because that’s how things worked for you, Pansy, that doesn’t mean that’s how it works for everybody.”
“I know,” Pansy said. “But... Sammy, you’re wonderful and you deserve everything.”
Sammy brushed the feelings off her that settled like an uncomfortable cloak. “Anyway...there can’t be anyone else. Honestly, there never could be. He’s...” They were all looking at her, sadly, meaningfully. And so she twisted her lips into a strange sort of impish smile. “He’s a damn genius in bed.”
“No!”
Pansy threw her hands up and doubled over like she was retching, and Iris put her palm on her forehead.
“He’s ruined me for other men,” Sammy said, nodding gravely to underscore the point.
That was true. More than true.
“Well, I’m very happy for you,” Pansy said, making a mock retching sound again.
“We’ll be fine,” Sammy said. “Nothing is going to change, really. I mean, nothing has changed. Yes, there’s a new...dimension to our relationship.”
“I don’t want to hear about my brother’s dimensions,” Rose said.
“Oh. Big, just so you know. But also, we care for each other. We care deeply. And that is very important. And that’s what’s going to see us through all the changes in life. Anyway, I can’t imagine anything better than being here with all of you, and you being my baby’s aunts.”
That did seem to make everyone happy, and make them forgive her for what she had said about dimensions.
And it gave her the confidence to hope that whatever happened from here would be all right. It had to be. There really wasn’t another option.
CHAPTER TWENTY
EVERYTHING WAS FINE until the vomiting started. And once it