he sensed that Ryder was irritated with him for no reason at all, he didn’t say.
He got one beer each for him and Sammy, and then joined her at the table she had snagged on the outer edge of the room.
Prime viewing area.
“You know,” Sammy said as he sat down at the table. “While we’re doing this, we could always find you someone to sleep with.”
He was thankful that he hadn’t opened the beer yet, considering, because he would’ve snorted it up his nose. “Excuse me?”
“It doesn’t seem fair. Looking for someone for me.”
“Yeah, but the goal that you’re looking for is slightly bigger than an orgasm.”
Something strange happened after he said that. Sammy’s cheeks went red. And the redness spread. All the way up to the roots of her pale blond hair. He had never known Sammy to be embarrassed. Not about anything. Least of all sex. She seemed to live to pick at his more conservative spots, try to make him uncomfortable. And over the years, he had just stopped letting her. At least, he had stopped letting her see it.
And occasionally, he would do something like he’d just done. Be the one to go ahead and bring up orgasms. It never sat right with him. But he figured turnabout was fair play.
“What?”
“I... Nothing.”
“I don’t hook up with locals,” Ryder said. “You know that.”
“Yeah,” Sammy said. “But I find it weird.”
“It’s just... It never seemed like the right thing to do.”
He preferred to find women outside of town. If he needed to scratch an itch then he would go to Copper Ridge or Tolowa, but never here.
He preferred to keep that part of himself separate. From everything here.
From Sammy.
She had never extended that courtesy to him, but then, why would she? And in a strange way he had never really resented it. Because again, her freedom.
That easy way she had with herself, with her body... He had never wanted to do anything to hurt her, to stop that, to affect it.
And he could never be that person. Ever. So he watched her be that person. Be the person she never could have been if she had stayed under her father’s roof. Light and happy and filled with joy.
Still, that was one thing. It was quite another to be discussing who she was going to have a baby with.
“Well, it feels greedy,” she said. “You know, taking all the sex for myself.”
And now she was back to her more typical persona. And he had a feeling that she was back with a vengeance for a reason. Because of whatever had made her so uncomfortable only a moment before.
“I’m really okay with it,” he said.
“Well. Okay.”
“What was that about? I mean, you blushed. I can’t remember the last time I saw you blush, Sammy.”
“Seriously? I thought we were here to have a grown-up discussion about which man in this bar should get me pregnant. Not about what made me blush.”
“I didn’t know our friendship had boundaries. You know, given the fact that I am here in this bar hoping to help you find a man to get you pregnant. I would think that we can have this conversation, too.”
“It’s not... It’s not a big deal,” she said, waving a hand. “And, has nothing to do with our objective.”
“Orgasms made you uncomfortable.”
The pinkness returned to her cheeks. He took a sip of his beer, long and slow, because he was enjoying having the control of the situation. It was honestly so difficult to get Sammy to react to anything, that having the upper hand here was somewhat enjoyable. And he knew it had nothing to do with why they were here, but he couldn’t help but stop and enjoy it.
“Not uncomfortable,” she said. “It’s just...it has nothing to do with this.”
“You want to make the baby the old-fashioned way. You want a connection. I assume somewhere in there pleasure is important.”
“It’s nice to be close to someone,” she said. “It doesn’t matter... It doesn’t matter.”
“Seriously?”
She shifted. “No. It doesn’t matter.”
He couldn’t quite wrap his head around what Sammy was saying. “Orgasms don’t matter.”
“No,” she said. “They don’t. And honestly the idea that they do is just... It just puts pressure on people. I don’t need that kind of pressure.”
“What do you mean pressure? It’s not something that you should have to worry about. The guy that you’re with should... He should take care of that. He should make you feel at ease. He should make you feel good.”