Back when she’d been a teenager and her dad had been in a fury, she had snuck out sometimes. The first time she’d done it...she’d been sure that Ryder would send her away. She had climbed through his bedroom window and got beneath the covers with him. And he had known exactly what she wanted. To be held. To be protected. To have some strength around her that made her feel safe, rather than battered and bruised and afraid for her life.
“Fine,” he said, stripping his shirt off and taking his hat along with it, leaving both on the floor.
The wall suddenly felt slightly closer, and she didn’t know why. There was something about the way he’d been looking at her the past couple of days that made her feel...unsettled, and no doubt it was responsible for the whole thing with the walls.
He went into the bathroom and slammed the door shut behind him, and she got off the bed slowly. She could hear the water turn on. She bent down and picked his hat up off the floor. The band of it was damp from his sweat. And when she picked the T-shirt up, she could feel that it was damp, too.
She held on to both for a moment, contemplating that.
And then she went quickly to the peg by the door and hung his hat up, before dropping the T-shirt into the hamper.
Touching his sweat should disgust her.
It didn’t. She wasn’t sure why. But maybe it was that whole thing about him being part of her. Now, why she had wanted to—for one moment—put her face in the T-shirt and smell it, she didn’t know.
Maybe she was hormonal. Maybe that was why the whole thing with the baby suddenly felt urgent and...
She thought about what he’d said to her. About it being selfish to want a baby the way that she did. Maybe she was selfish. She wasn’t sure she cared. Life hadn’t given her much of anything. Except for Ryder. Life had given her Ryder. Hope Springs Ranch.
Through this place and her relationships with the people here she had a basis of support. The town had... The town had been there for her. She had gotten a job at one of the local jewelry stores where people had brought in artisan work, and she had developed an interest in metalsmithing and gemstones. Eventually, she’d been able to buy leftover material from her old boss and get into doing some of it on her own.
Now instead of selling other people’s creations, her own designs were in the store.
So it wasn’t that she hadn’t accomplished things. She had. But there was something in her that still didn’t feel satisfied.
She was just aching and empty all the time. And she was tired of it.
The bathroom door cracked open, and Ryder came out with a towel wrapped low around his waist. And she just stood there, frozen. Staring.
She had seen the man in a state of half-undress more times than she could count. She’d shared a bed with him when they were younger. They were platonic with a capital P. That didn’t mean she didn’t know that he was a good-looking man. She wasn’t blind. And yes, she had been slightly... Well, she had been noticing those things about him a little bit more lately. But it was all to do with the fact that the energy around him had changed. The way he had looked at her at dinner last night.
But she was human. A human woman. And he was a man with a perfect, spectacular body wandering around with nothing on and water droplets rolling down his chest. Over his muscles. So many muscles.
Really, he had the best body she had ever seen. But she avoided bodies like his when it came to sexual situations because... Because they were scary. Intimidating. Because it was something that she would never feel comfortable with.
But Lordy, she was enjoying looking at it now.
“I didn’t have clean clothes with me,” he said, grasping the towel tighter and digging through his dresser.
“Don’t mind me,” she said.
“I don’t,” he said.
She didn’t bother to look away. Because when she felt uncomfortable she tended to dig into the moment. So she supposed she would go ahead and own the fact that she was currently on a visual tour of every exposed part of him.
“Are you going to leave so I can get dressed?”
“I suppose,” she said, treating him to her naughtiest