The Hero of Hope Springs - Maisey Yates Page 0,118

it. And that was uncomfortable.

Deeply so.

She had been thinking a lot about how their relationship had begun. How she had come to him. Baited him until he had become her friend. Offered him sugar in exchange for sanctuary.

And he had given it.

She had offered up pieces of herself. But never the whole thing. Because there was a reason that she had slipped into bed with him all those nights. Because she had wanted his comfort, had wanted the warmth of his body. Had wanted to be near him.

But she had been afraid of real intimacy with him.

She had gotten sexual attention from other men. Any man but him.

Because the cost of intimacy with Ryder was always going to be high. And it was always going to be one that she would find it difficult to pay. In the rosy evening light, she stood up. Then she took her shirt off. Her skirt. Her underwear. And she stood there, completely naked, letting the sun warm her skin. She closed her eyes, a tear tracking down her cheek.

She loved him.

With all that she was.

But she was afraid that she wasn’t enough. That if he knew that she was just a trembling girl in her heart, not an outrageous, brave free spirit, he wouldn’t really want her.

That he would resent her.

And it wasn’t even so much that she was generous and wanting him to be happy, so much that she just... She never wanted to be the reason he was unhappy with his life. And she had been that. For both of her parents.

She felt small and selfish and miserable, but she spread her arms wide and tilted her head up toward the sky, open and vulnerable and trying to will herself to simply be in it.

To love him. To love him and to know that there would be no guarantee it would never end. To love him and know that she couldn’t guarantee his happiness forever.

To know that she couldn’t guarantee her own bravery, that she might run scared sometimes and need to be held in his strong arms.

That sometimes she might need him, and other times he might need her.

That they were both going to have to learn what love looks like together, if he would still have her. After all this.

Her heart was bruised, and she didn’t know quite where to begin.

But she supposed it would have to start with bravery. And no sugar cubes this time. Just her. But then she heard footsteps off to the side, and she looked over and saw him. For a moment she thought she might be hallucinating. Because it was Ryder just like she always fantasized about him.

Black T-shirt, black cowboy hat and snug-fitting jeans. He looked disreputable with his dark whiskers covering his jaw, and it was sort of wonderful because there was nothing disreputable about Ryder Daniels. Except...he could be, with her. Could be rough and tender all at once. Shocking and sexy and steady and faithful.

He was everything that she wanted, everything that she needed, all contained in one man, and the realization was scary as hell.

“It would figure, Samantha, that I would come searching for you and find you standing naked in the middle of the woods.”

“How exactly did you find me?” She fought the urge to cover up. To hide. Not because she was naked, but because she was vulnerable.

Honest.

Because she was staring her fears down instead of pretending she had none and it made her raw.

But he was the one for those fears.

He was the one.

“Because it’s your place. Where you used to come and watch us when you were afraid of joining us, even though you wanted to. I figured that was where you had gone off to. And I also figured that if I was right... That if I was right I might have a chance.”

“You came for me,” she said.

“I know you wanted your space.”

Tears began to flow freely down her cheeks. “I need you to know that I was coming back to you.”

“And I need you to know that I wasn’t just going to let this happen. There are things in my life that have happened that were bad. And I didn’t have any control over them. Not one bit. But this... This I do. And I just felt like while there was some breath left in my body I needed to come and tell you again that I’d be here. And that I needed you to know it was a choice I