a complete mess of this. Here was this kind woman trying to help her and Betsy could barely speak.
“I’m really sorry,” she told Sunny. She ran her hands down her thighs. “I’m out of practice at talking to people. I haven’t had another woman to talk to in…well, there was a girl at the…umm…club where I met Ink.”
“Another Little?” Sunny asked quietly.
“Yeah. But that was different. I seem to find it easier to talk to people when I’m Little.” In fact, it was hard to switch to being Big this morning before Sunny and Duke arrived.
“I get it,” Sunny said gently. “I did bring something else for us to do, if you’d like.”
“What’s that?”
Sunny reached into her bag and gave Betsy a shy look before unrolling a large piece of paper. On it a field of sunflowers had been sketched out along with a sunset in the background.
“Duke drew it for me to color in. Would you like to help?”
“Wow, it’s gorgeous. I’d love to.”
Sunny gave her a warm smile. “I know you don’t like people touching you, Ink warned us. But if you ever want a hug, I’m here. I know you’ve been through a lot, Betsy.”
“Ink said that you know about how we met and about Forrest.”
Sunny gave her a sympathetic smile. “Yeah, I do. I can’t imagine what your life has been like, but you’re safe now. They’re safe. Ink’s a good guy, Betsy. He’ll take care of you.”
“I’m not sure that I’m good enough for him,” she whispered the awful thought that had been circling inside her head.
She’d been so focused on getting the boys safe, on getting out from under Forrest’s clutches that she hadn’t thought too much about the future. But now she as wondering if she deserved to be happy.
“Betsy, that’s not true.” Sunny reached out hesitantly and squeezed her hand.
“He’s a good guy. He could have left me with Forrest and just walked away. I know I hurt him by deceiving him but he forgave me.”
“Because you didn’t have a choice.”
“But I still feel so terrible.”
Sunny bit her lip, studying her closely. “I have a suggestion for getting rid of your guilt, but I’m not sure how you’ll feel about it.”
“What is it?” she asked, willing to entertain any idea.
“Well, normally I’d be all for doing whatever you needed to in order to get out of punishment. Not that anything seems to work with these daddies.”
“Punishment? Like a spanking?” Betsy gaped at Sunny.
Sunny nodded. “When I’ve done something naughty and I feel guilty, well, after a punishment I feel better. It takes the guilt away and everything is forgiven.” Sunny shrugged. “It might work.”
“You think I should ask to be spanked?”
“It’s up to you, of course.”
She wasn’t sure she could do that. But then could she also live with this guilt inside her?
“I’ll think about it.”
“Those books I was talking about? They’re about age play and BDSM. They don’t have all the answers. Every relationship is different but they helped me feel less alone. Not that I’m alone, I have Duke and the Iron Shadow guys and Jewel. But I don’t have any other Little friends.”
“Who is Jewel?”
“Jewel is awesome. A little scary. Gorgeous. She is kind of like a friend of the Iron Shadows. I’m not sure about how she came to be, she’s never really told me her back-story. She can be a bit intimidating, but she’s fiercely loyal.”
Betsy chewed her lip. “I haven’t got any real friends. If you…I mean…”
“I’d love to be your friend, Betsy,” Sunny said gently. “Seems like we could both use one, huh?”
Betsy gave her a nervous smile. “I’m not sure how good a friend I’ll make, but I’ll try.”
Sunny frowned slightly. “You need to stop being so hard on yourself.”
“I never had friends, not really. Mama had acquaintances from church and I sometimes played with their children, but I could never bring friends home. Mama had high expectations. She didn’t like noise or mess or other children around. Mostly she didn’t like me being around. And then she got sick and I nursed her. Soon after she died, I met Rex and married him. It was always best to keep out of his way. I tried my best to be invisible, to keep the boys safe from him while giving them a childhood. And then after he died, and I went to live with Forrest…” she trailed off.
“You had no choice. You did your best to warn him, it’s more than most people would