Language!” That was my dad, who was sitting on the couch watching the news as my sister and I blew into my apartment before 7:00 a.m. I’d stormed out of Rocco’s place after barely saying three words to him. It was so fucking rude, but I had no idea how to act around him after last night. And there was no way I could eat the pancakes that he’d made with the same hands that made me come so hard I almost blacked out.
“Sorry, Papi,” Paula said not at all contritely as we both walked over to give him a quick hug.
“You’re back early.”
I knew I was all out of sorts and my father had a hell of a radar for when anyone in his family was upset.
I nodded and redirected the conversation. “Where are Mami and Abue? They still here?”
“Yes.” I almost laughed at the agony in his voice. “Your mom and abuela are getting ready for the shopping.” His tone indicated he wanted no part of today’s plans. I nodded and moved to go get myself some coffee, since I’d barely had two sips of the perfectly prepared macchiato Rocco made for me this morning. Paula came in right behind me and just stared at me with her arms crossed on her chest.
“Julia, I’m serious. You were rude as fuck to him this morning.” She looked at the front door as if an imaginary Rocco was standing there waiting for an explanation for my shitty behavior. I closed my eyes and saw his crestfallen face when I’d turned down the food he’d offered us. I felt nauseous thinking of how I’d acted. “What gives, Lita? I thought things were going well between you two, at least from what I—”
I sawed my hand through the air and snapped a bit more forcefully than I wanted at her. “Paula, stop.”
I turned around and before I answered her, I took three deep breaths, trying not to take out my annoyance at myself on her. I pinched the bridge of my nose and closed my eyes. My day would not get better by picking a fight with my sister.
“I wanted to get back here. I promised Mami and Abue I’d go with them to the good outlet mall in Grand Prairie and we have to get there early. It’s going to be a madhouse over there today.”
This was exactly why I didn’t want to start something with Rocco. I was lying and feeling like shit. If we got together, it would only be more lying and more shittiness. I needed to remember that. “Please, Pau, just chill, all right? I’m strung a little tight right now.”
I don’t know if it was the quiver in my voice or my general desperation, but something about how I looked made my sister’s eyes widen, as if finally realizing I was a more than a little frazzled. Right at that moment, my dad, who until now had kept his attention on the TV, sauntered to where we stood in tense silence.
“Did something happen this morning?”
Paula looked at me and then opened her mouth, like she was going to say something. A feeling of dread ran through me, and I wasn’t even sure why. My parents—well, my father at least—never interfered with my life. If I asked him to stay out of it, he would. The same could not be said for my mother.
I opened my mouth and talked into the silence, hoping to just end this conversation. “Everything was fine, Papi. I just wanted to be here early for the shopping.” I felt so fucked up right now that I was actually looking forward to the hellscape that would be outlet shopping on Black Friday. If anything, it would for sure be a distraction.
My father was still looking at me funny, and my sister’s scoffing at my answer certainly didn’t help matters.
“Did you guys sleep all right?” There was a lot more than him wanting to make sure I got my beauty rest in that question, but I was not going there. I gave a terse nod in response and took a big gulp of coffee.
Paula, on the other hand, had a lot more to say. “I slept awesome. Rocco was a great host and the guest bedroom I was in had its own bathroom and a TV, with cable!” I had to hide a smile by drinking some more coffee. She was so extra. My dad chuckled and wrapped an arm around her shoulder.