she certainly wasn’t acting like she did. Even if Pulga was permanently banned from Julia’s place. Probably so was I, now that I thought about it.
Julia picked Pulga up and cradled her in her arms as the cat alternated between rubbing her little head against Julia’s sweater and sending me mutinous looks, as if to say, “Why would you mess with this?”
I was having trouble figuring out what to do or say, because not only was Julia in my apartment, she was cuddling my cat, who she almost consistently refused to touch. And yet she’d brought her presents?
I moved to the kitchen, trying to buy myself time. I knew Julia would make me talk. She was not going to let me get away with brooding.
I grabbed a couple of the kombuchas she’d gotten me addicted to and offered her one. She shook her head and kept petting Pulga.
“I’m not thirsty, and I need to know, Rocco.”
“I was planning to just do what Phil asked; with Blue and the CPS situation, I felt like I had no choice. But in the end Sofia talked some sense into me, and I knew I couldn’t go through with it. I wouldn’t be able to live with myself, and even if you hated me for the way I acted I’d at least have a clear conscience.” I scoffed, thinking how poorly my plan had gone. “Not that it mattered. The board still voted for the IPO.”
“You could’ve told me the turmoil you were in, Rocco. That you were under pressure, knowing that would’ve helped.”
I went over to the couch and sat there as I thought about what she was saying. “I didn’t want to complicate things any more than they already were. It doesn’t matter either way though.” I laughed bitterly and looked up at her again, willing her to get closer. “I ruined everything for nothing.”
She came over then and sat next to me on the couch, carefully put Pulga down, and then turned to me. “We got the funding.”
“What?”
She shook her head and looked at me like I was a misguided idiot. “We got the funding. Gail just called me to say the twins have assured her they’ll continue to support us.”
All the air left my body at once. “So you’ll be all right, then?”
“Oh no. You’re not going to do your selfless-hero act with me. I still need to hear why it was so easy for you to break things off between us. Why did you let me think you didn’t care about me, Rocco?” Her voice broke then and I couldn’t not touch her when she was so close. I reached out, but at the last second stopped.
“Can I?”
“Can you what?”
“Can I touch you?” My hand was hanging in the air, floating by her ear.
She rolled her eyes and breathed out. “You’re an idiot.” She pushed forward and before I knew it our lips were touching, her mouth pressed with mine. “Why do you think I’m here, Rocco? For fuck’s sake.”
We pulled back and her face was all business again, and she turned back to where Pulga was nosing through the bags on the floor. Julia glanced up at me with a look of complete exhaustion, then gestured to the floor. “Help me out with these.”
“So you went shopping?”
Before I could say more, she pulled out a cat bed exactly like the one she and I had picked out for Pulga the day I’d found her.
She put it down on the floor and looked up at me, looking as confused as I was. “I don’t know, I needed to clear my head before I got here, so I stopped at the store. I bought things for Pulga, so she can have them when you come over to my place.” This time the tears spilled over and streaked her face. “I wanted you to know, you stubborn dumbass, that there is a place for you and your damn cat in my life. Even after it seemed so easy for you to give up on us.”
That’s when I broke. “I’m so sorry.”
She shook her head as she ran the back of her hand over her nose, her face streaked with tears. Her voice was clogged when she spoke. “I don’t even know why I got this stuff since you’re leaving.” Her eyes looked bleak as she pulled out more duplicates of Pulga’s things. “Were you really going to do that? Were you going to leave without even saying goodbye?”