She sighed, and it sounded resigned. “You do too much for me already. More than anyone else. I’ll figure it out. Besides, you got the big move planned. When you’re ready, Blue and I will be too.”
I couldn’t betray my sister’s faith in me. I could not let her down.
“Don’t worry. I’ll get us there.” I looked up and saw the light in Julia’s apartment. I had to take care of this too. “Sis, I gotta go. I’m late for something with Julia. I’ll call tomorrow to check in about the CPS visit. I know you’ll be fine. When they call me, I’ll tell them there isn’t a better mom than you.”
“Thanks, bro. You always have my back.”
I knew that wasn’t true.
“Give Blue a big kiss for me.” I ended the call in turmoil, but certain of what I needed to do.
Chapter Thirty
Julia
As soon as I opened the door, I knew something was wrong.
“Hey.” I leaned up to kiss Rocco on the mouth. Feeling like it had been days and not hours since I’d seen him. Relieved that he was here after the awkward end to our call this morning. I’d blurted out I loved him and regretted it immediately. I’d been needy and frantic and had put him in a weird position. The turmoil and frustration from work making me impulsive. More than once I’d felt the need to text him, just to know he was out there. That he’d be there when it was all over, but I had been trying to give him space.
But now that he was here, he felt a million miles away. Except when we pressed our mouths together, his kiss was desperate and a little rough. Like he was quenching a deep thirst. After a moment he let go and walked farther into the apartment. Away from me.
I followed, aware that he still had not said a word to me. I was about to ask if I’d freaked him out this morning, but before I could he opened his mouth.
When he spoke, it was wooden. His body was there, but his mind was very far away. “How did things go with the family?”
He was still in his work suit, the slate Zegna I’d gotten him for Christmas, and just like I’d anticipated, it fit him perfectly. I stood there watching him move around my space. His tall, strong body taking over the living room. In that moment I knew that I’d do anything to keep him.
I sat down on the couch next to him and ran a hand over the nape of his neck and he shivered. “Mom is in custody, and we’re trying very hard to locate her and figure out a way to get some kind of stay.” I threw my hands up, the frustration and helpless feelings of the day rushing back. “She’s got three kids, all of them American citizens, and they need her. They’re staying with one of the families who have fostered kids for us before, and they may be able to keep them permanently, if it comes to that. The attorney that the foundation got us talked with Gail and I for a while today. She sounded confident we could at least buy some time, but she may have to go back to Guatemala eventually.”
I rubbed my hands over my face, trying to breathe through the panic I felt whenever I thought of Antonio and his sisters. “Whenever I close my eyes, I see Antonio’s cheeky smile.” I shuddered a breath. “He’s such a great kid, with a great mom. This should not be happening to them.”
Rocco’s silence was starting to freak me out, so I turned to get a good look at him, and his face was like stone. No affect whatsoever. It was like he wasn’t even here.
“Is something wrong?”
He startled at my question, and looked in the direction of the window. “Just thinking about your client. I know your support means a lot. What you guys do is so important.”
The muscles in his jaw stood out like he was gritting his teeth hard. I had no idea what was happening, but something was really wrong with him.
“Hopefully we’ll be able to continue to do the work and help him. As long as we have the means, we’ll be there for those families.” I paused there, not wanting to go into the awkward place where we talked about how our funding depended a lot on