I clicked my tongue at that. “Julia, there’s no way they’ll shut down the program like that. There are too many families depending on your services.”
“I hope you’re right.”
“I know I am.”
We stayed on the phone and with each second I felt like there was something important that she wasn’t saying. And just when I was about to ask if there was something else she needed to say, she blurted it out. “I love you, Rocco.”
It was like a punch to the gut. She said those words like they were the truest thing in the world. Like she trusted I would take care of what she was offering me. Like I could hold something so precious.
I was a fucking coward. I didn’t deserve her love or her trust, when I knew in my gut that when the time came, when it was up to me to speak up for her program, I would save my own ass.
“I’ll see you tonight.”
She inhaled sharply, like the blow of my words had winded her.
I ended the call, hating myself, and because I couldn’t catch a fucking break, just as I was about to start mentally preparing to go and talk to Phil, I heard a knock on my office door.
“Hey, did you see my note?” It was impressive how Phil could speak in a completely cordial tone and still sound menacing. I looked up and noticed his usual sneer was actually a real smile today, and that more than anything really scared me.
I stood up to shake his hand, but he waved me off. He quietly shut my office door before sitting on one of the chairs facing my desk. His legs widespread. He was one of those guys who needed to put his junk right in your range of vision.
“I did see your note. I was just about to walk to your office. What’s up?”
The shark smile he flashed me with when I asked sent a frisson of dread down my spine.
He sat up straight, rubbing his palms together. “It looks like we may finally have something to turn the board off of this insane charity scheme.”
“Oh,” I said, as I squeezed and flexed my fingers under my desk, trying to shake some of the tension I was feeling.
“I heard from Vicki today, the ‘clinical director.’” He made the air quotes as if the title and the job were some bogus shit. “Apparently she got one of the illegals arrested by accident.” He guffawed at this, his head thrown back, while I tried to focus on my breathing, so I didn’t lunge at him. I paid attention to the tightness in my back and shoulders and made myself relax, because I was really fucking close to losing my cool.
“I’m sorry, I’m not sure I follow.”
He grinned again, and I knew he was aware I found none of this even slightly amusing. Something about the way he was looking at me made me wonder if he knew about Julia and me.
“Well, Vicki had one of the families over to her house for Christmas for some fucking reason, and it sounds like they stole some jewelry and she called the police on them. Gail sent an email to HR this morning, and they called me to let me know.”
“They called you?” I was not surprised that this jerk was already twisting the truth, but I did not get why Phil was privy to any of this. This was not exactly the type of thing that Sturm’s CFO needed to be involved in.
He lifted a shoulder then, his smile so wide I could see his molars. “I asked the contracts manager who handles all our charity stuff to keep me abreast of anything concerning.”
He leaned in then, his eyes glinting. “And what could be more concerning than a program that’s supposed to be helping the illegals getting them deported by mistake.” He threw his head back again, literally gasping for air from laughing so hard. “This is truly a Christmas miracle.”
I sat there stunned as he talked. How could people be like this? He was practically jumping for joy that a mother had been taken from her children.
“I’m calling to move up the board meeting to first thing tomorrow. I already checked. Everyone was already expecting to meet so we’re good to go.” He looked over his shoulder at the closed door. “I want to drop this bomb on them before the twins have