Here Lies a Saint (Here Lies #2) - C.L. Matthews Page 0,51
It was a choice.
“If you touch her, Colt will kill you.”
I don’t want to stop and look but twist enough to see Lux standing at the door a few down from my parents’. His sadness is visible.
“What about you?” I prod, knowing this hall, this entire building, is wired. While only current Emeralds are in access, it’s a risky move on both our behalf.
He trails the hall, coming toward me with a pensive expression. I want to ease his discomfort, and it shocks me that there’s care in my body for him.
He’s Lennox DeLeon, my friend but also my... enemy.
There’s only one leader.
It’ll be me until I die or age out.
It’s how it works.
“Let’s talk elsewhere,” he comments, his eyes going toward where one of the many cameras rest. If not for us knowing this building, we wouldn’t know it’s there. They’ve put them in the wall and ceiling, nearly invisible.
Our silent stagger outside has my body trembling from exhaustion. Since Yang’s death, I’ve felt on edge and drained. Sleep isn’t my friend, nor is it a peaceful reminder that I’m alive.
It’s as tiring as lack of sleep.
While many don’t dream, I do. My mind travels to the moment I fucked up, the moment my mind made its first mistake of feeling anything for Lux, Colt, and for the other guys.
I’d been sent here as a spy, someone to make sure no one fucked up. But that’s the problem, isn’t it? Cass fucked up. He sabotaged where he could, spiraled, and somehow, still was killed.
Many people would expect me to be the person who told the Vestige about his plan, but I didn’t. I’d been on the cusp of turning to his side, helping him, doing whatever I could for his cause.
In the end, it didn’t matter.
Somehow, they found out.
I didn’t see it coming, and I paid the price by my father’s hands.
“What do you mean you didn’t know he was betraying us?” His face morphed into a demon’s, the edges of his jaw somehow sharper, the way his hands are raised, ready for my life to slip through his fingers.
“I didn’t know what he was planning!”
It’s true. I kept my distance to save us all. If I could be invisible, on the outside, I could maybe save them from their own stupidity.
No one goes against the Vestige without repercussions.
That’s why they’ve gotten away with murders, drug deals, liaisons, and everything else shady for years. They have connections and an hide behind their money and power.
My father’s hand connects with my jaw, the rings on his fingers slicing my skin on his back-swing.
“You’ll pay for your insolence, son.”
And I did.
For nearly a month, I couldn’t walk. In that time, Cassidy was murdered, his funeral had passed, and I’d cut all communication off with every Emerald member.
They didn’t expect me to come back this year. I could tell in the way they appeared shocked. Not a word from me, a text, or even an announcement from father.
This year, I’d been given a second chance, but seeing Lux for the first time after months of a drought, it was as if the parched way my throat bobbed told me something had changed between us.
I wanted him and not in a normal way.
Whatever changed, I couldn’t let go.
As soon as we’re outside, Lux turns to me. “Don’t do this.” His words are hushed, a whisper in the vast sunsetting night.
“Tell me why.”
His nose crinkles, knowing I’m fishing but unwilling to call me out on it. Yes, I want to hear the words come from him, to know our time together meant more than a quick fuck, even if that’s all either of us will ever admit.
“Colt won’t forgive you.”
A cop-out.
“She’ll get over it.” The response is harsh, but I want him to stop me, to convince me to betray my bloodline, the cause, to risk my life. Anything that tells me what this is between us isn’t just hormones, that somehow, we’ve broken some barrier and I matter.
“I won’t forgive you.” A dark growl releases him, his eyes connect with mine, and I see the truth there. His possessiveness rolls off him in shockwaves that somehow infiltrate my system.
“Jealous of a little pussy, Lennox?”
His shoulders haunch in response. “Do whatever the fuck you want, Jordan, but if you touch her, I’ll never touch your dick again.”
The way he says it with absolute certainty has my own dick growing in response. Fuck. It’s hot, knowing he’s so jealous of a never-going-to-happen situation.