because don’t most actors stay in the closet because coming out would cost them jobs?”
“I thought so.”
“Right. Anyway. We kept a low profile until he had the idea to do the coming-out video. Only it turned out that I was more famous than him. I mean, the headlines were things like Gold Medalist Tim Swan Comes Out in Video with Actor Boyfriend. That really bothered Pat. He has a small, devoted following online—all these girls who are fans of his show—so I think he thought he had a big enough platform. But we did the video, and then things got creepy.”
“How?” Isaac lightly ran a hand along Tim’s back. Tim was tense, which Isaac took to mean he found this upsetting to talk about. Isaac was glad he was willing to share, though.
“I started getting messages from people telling me how brave I was, which was nice, although I didn’t feel especially brave. But then Pat’s fans started making art. I wanted to ignore it, but Pat used to collect it. And some of it was really creepy. Like, drawings of us in bed together. Stories about our sex lives. And they used to send all these messages over social media about how cute we were. I started to feel like I was their pet. But that was nothing compared to the fact that, you know, we were engaged, so I let Pat have access to my bank accounts.”
“Oh no.” Isaac’s heart sank; he knew exactly where this was going.
“He never loved me. He thought being with me was his ticket to fame. I didn’t realize it because I was so head over heels for him and we were having fun together. And I guess the fan following for his show brought some cachet, because I started getting sponsorships from unexpected places. Like, places that wanted me to model their clothes, that kind of thing.”
“You don’t think you would have gotten those jobs without Pat? Cuz you’re really hot. You could model a trash bag and people would buy it.”
Tim sighed. “Being with Pat attracted a different kind of fan, I guess. And the extra money was nice, I can’t complain about that. But then his show got canceled and everything went south. Instead of asking to borrow money from me, he just took it. When I finally confronted him about it, he showed his true colors.”
Isaac felt a spike of jealousy at hearing Tim had been head over heels for this guy, but more than that, he wanted to hug Tim close and protect him from assholes like that. “God, I’m so sorry you went through that.”
Tim nodded and looked down. Isaac realized his rapid blinking meant he was trying to keep the tears at bay. “The worst part is that I felt like such an idiot. I should have seen it, you know? I should have known he was manipulating me. He played me for a fool for a long time. When I figured it out, I was heartbroken. And I was mortified. How could I have let this happen?”
Isaac moved his hand in what he hoped were comforting circles along Tim’s back. “You were in love.” And wasn’t that a kick in the teeth?
“Yeah. I did really love him once. But that’s all over now.”
A thousand clichés about love being blind ran through Isaac’s head, but he was having a hard time keeping his jealousy in check. This asshole had received Tim’s love for several years and he’d wasted it.
“I’m not…. Am I making a mistake like that with you?” Tim asked after Isaac took too long to respond. “My gut says no, but I don’t know if I trust my instincts anymore.”
It was like an ice pick to Isaac’s heart, but his own confidence in his ability to be a good partner was precarious. He cared about Tim and liked what they had together; he wanted it in his life for as long as he could have it. But could he stay on the wagon? “Honestly? I don’t know. By that, I mean I won’t steal your money. I won’t use you to gain anything. I don’t want anything from you except your affection, and that’s the God’s honest truth. But I’m an alcoholic. I’m probably not a good bet.”
Tim nodded slowly. “I’ve been thinking about that. I keep telling myself that this ends when we fly home, so it doesn’t matter. You respect your sport too much to relapse while you’re competing, so I believe