so he could have been lying about them getting back together.
But was he?
Tim had admitted he wasn’t the best judge of character, and maybe that charming asshole had managed to persuade Tim that he was a better man than Isaac. He probably was, actually; he’d been on a popular television show and wasn’t an alcoholic. Not to mention those magical endorsement deals that Pat had helped Tim get. That could all add up to a really appealing package to someone like Tim. Or at least, a more appealing package than a broke alcoholic swimmer.
Before Isaac could contemplate that much more, Sheri burst into the green room. “Car’s out front.”
Isaac nodded and followed her back to the elevator.
His mind spun as he sat in the back of the limo. He answered Sheri’s questions about how the interview had gone and tried to be pleasant about it, but all of his old anxieties suddenly came rushing back. How could he think he was good enough for a man like Tim? He was a washed-up alcoholic with no particular prospects. He’d probably just pissed away all of his earning potential by doing that interview. He had nothing to offer Tim. Of course it made sense for Tim to go back to that douchebag Pat, because Isaac wasn’t much better, not really.
Or was that Isaac’s depression getting the better of him? Was this the cost of talking about his experiences? He’d just dredged a lot of stuff back up, as evidenced by that stint in the men’s room. His therapist at rehab had told him the same miswiring in his brain that caused him to lose control around alcohol also disrupted his thoughts, lied to him even. Maybe Isaac was experiencing some kind of postcompetition down that made everything worse. Just a few hours ago he’d been convinced he loved Tim, and he’d thought Tim had reciprocated at least some of those feelings. This gossip story that Tim and Pat were getting back together must have been just that. Gossip.
He texted Tim: I did the interview. On the way back now. Want to get dinner?
He and Sheri rode in silence for a few moments while Isaac waited for a response.
It never came.
Chapter 24
ISAAC WANTED a drink.
Tim had said he planned to take a nap in Isaac’s room, but Tim wasn’t there when Isaac returned. He wasn’t in his own room either. Jason was there, though, and had no idea where Tim had gone.
Isaac had felt so happy just a few hours ago. Why was he reeling now?
And what did it really say about him that what was probably a minor setback—some television footage that really meant nothing; they might have just been talking—had sent Isaac on this spiral?
The time indicated it was too early to call his doctor during his office hours back home, so he went to Luke’s room instead.
Luke and Katie were there, both in sweats, as if they’d been napping instead of fooling around, which made Isaac feel slightly less guilty. Only slightly.
“Isaac. What is it?” Luke’s facial expression indicated he knew something was wrong. He gestured Isaac into the room.
Isaac said in one long breath, “I can’t find Tim and he’s not answering his texts and I saw a news story this afternoon that he might be getting back together with that Pat asshole, and even though that’s probably not true, I can’t stop thinking about it, and I want a beer so badly right now I can almost taste it.”
Luke shut the door and exhaled loudly. “All right. That’s a lot, right there.”
“Wait, are they back together?” asked Katie.
Isaac made a big show of shrugging.
“I saw that Pat guy today. He came to the Aquatics Center and offered Tim a ride back to the Athlete Village. I guess Tim took it. He said something about wanting Tim back. But I gotta say, Tim seemed pretty annoyed at him.”
“What if they talked and he said the right thing and Tim is all charmed and they’re off in his hotel room right now? Huh?”
“Isaac.” Luke’s tone was stern. “That’s insane.”
“I know. I know. But I can’t get these thoughts out of my head. It’s probably nothing and I’m overreacting. But it’s too late on the East Coast to talk to my therapist, so I needed to tell someone that I want to drink, because I’m starting to spiral. I can’t seem to control my thoughts or myself.”
“What do you normally do when this happens?” Katie asked.