Her Christmas Cowboy (The Wyoming Cowboy #5) - Jessica Clare Page 0,87
herself.
The worst part of all of this was that she genuinely liked Caleb. She wanted him to do these things for her. She liked having him to lean on. She liked knowing he was there to help her and she wasn’t alone. Like when he’d suggested that she stay at his house because hers was freezing cold. She’d done it one night when it got too cold, another night letting him stay over because they could snuggle in bed together and stave off the worst of the chill.
He was wonderful and generous . . . and he deserved so much better than a user like her. She was going to have to break up with him, she realized. For both of their sakes.
She couldn’t be the new, improved Amy if she truly was just using him, and that broke her heart.
CHAPTER NINETEEN
Caleb had spent hours decorating the barn for his date with Amy. Jack had laughed his ass off when he saw what Caleb was up to, but Jack’s opinion didn’t much matter. It was only Amy he wanted to impress. It was Amy whose eyes he wanted to light up with pleasure. Jack could buzz right off.
So he hung pine garlands from one end of the barn doors to the other. He hung jingle bells from the stall doors and festive wreaths from hooks, making sure that none of them were in eating reach of the horses themselves. He got on a ladder and hung strings of lights from the rafters so she’d walk into a winter wonderland when she arrived. He wove bells into bridles and braided his horse’s mane with red and green ribbons.
Today, he was going to show Amy how to ride a horse. She’d confessed that she’d never even gotten near one before, and he figured it was a good skill to learn. Plus, he got to spend the afternoon with her. It was a win all around. His letter for today was tucked into his front pocket, and he was hanging the last of the lights when he heard a car pull up.
That had to be his girl.
Grinning, Caleb closed the barn doors so he could surprise her and headed out to greet Amy.
She didn’t come to meet him halfway. In fact, she got out of her car, leaned against the door, and huddled into her light jacket as if it were freezing outside. Why was she wearing that damn thing again? The one he’d gotten for her was much warmer, and today was a snowy, blustery day. She looked miserable, too. “You okay, Amy?”
“We need to talk,” she told him in a wobbling voice.
His senses went on alert. “Talk. About . . . ?”
“I can’t do this,” she practically whispered even as he came close enough to see that her face was deathly pale, her eyes strangely hollow.
“Our date this afternoon?” She didn’t look like she was feeling well. “No worries about that. It can wait.” She didn’t know it was horseback riding, and he sure wasn’t taking her out when she was this wretched-looking. “You feeling all right?”
She shook her head. “I’m not talking about our date today. I’m talking about all of this. You and me. I can’t do this.” Her voice rose in a hysterical note. “I can’t do you and me, Caleb.”
For a brief moment, it felt as if the ground dropped away from him. As if the world was ending. She’d been with him and found him lacking . . . somehow? But that didn’t make sense. He’d spent the night at her house last night, had woken up to her kissing his chest, her cold toes pressed between his legs. She’d initiated sex that morning, and he’d left her side with a smile on his face.
Something had happened. “I don’t understand what you’re saying. What’s changed?”
“Me,” she told him, wild eyed. She slammed her hand to her chest. “I’m the one that’s changing. I’m the one who needs to change, Caleb. You’re fine. You’re great.” Her face crumpled. “You’re perfect, okay?”
Now he was really damn confused. “You want to sit down and talk somewhere, Amy?”
“No.” She shook her head. “I’m tired of people talking to me and telling me what I should think. I thought about this on my own, and I realized that this isn’t right for me. You’re wonderful, Caleb, and I really do mean that.” Her voice broke. “But this can’t work between us. I can’t do a relationship right now.”