Hendrix - Kelsey Clayton Page 0,11
my back against the wood and try to calm my breathing.
I need a fucking drink.
THE BAR IS FILLED with women who check me out from all angles, but none of them register in my mind at all. Not tonight. The glass of whiskey is almost empty—my third glass. Still, no amount of liquor has even begun to numb the pain of knowing the truth.
I have a daughter. Saige and I have a daughter together. Not only did I break up with her through a letter, but I left her pregnant and alone. Unknowingly or not, I can't imagine what she went through. Her parents were very conservative, so I'm sure they weren't exactly happy about the news.
From what I saw for the short time I was there, it looks like she's doing well. Then again, part of that probably stems from being engaged to an actor. The fact that Topher James knows my own daughter better than I do is not something that sits well with me. They say little girls are more likely to find someone like their father when they grow up, and trust me when I say he's not the kind of guy she wants to end up with. Hell, I don't even know what Saige sees in him.
Asher slips onto the stool next to me and orders another drink for me and one for himself. He turns around and leans back against the bar, scanning the room and giving me control of whether or not we say anything at all.
“How'd you know where to find me?” I murmur.
He smirks. “Did you know there’s a Twitter account that posts updates of our current locations? Tessa showed it to me.”
I snort. “I don't know what's more frightening—the fact that that exists, or that Tessa knows about it.”
“I'm going to say both,” he quips. “So, I take it tonight didn't go well?”
I take a deep breath. Asher is the one who gave me the number of the guy who managed to track down Saige's address and phone number for me. Apparently, finding out where a top actor lives is harder than I originally thought it would be. Lucky him for not having a Twitter account as a stalker.
I thought about calling her, but I figured she'd hang up the second she realized it was me. And judging by her attitude tonight, I assumed right.
“She's mine, Ash.” It feels weird to say it out loud. “I have a kid.”
He exhales slowly. “So, what now?”
That's the question I've been asking myself all night. It's obvious Saige isn't jumping for joy at the idea of me being in Brenna's life, but I can't let that stop me. Sure, she's five years old, and I've never formally met her, but that's not my fault. Up until last week, I didn't even know she existed. If I'd known, we wouldn't be in this situation.
“Now, we drink.” I lift the glass to my lips and let the alcohol burn my throat as it slides down.
He must know I don't have an actual answer for him, because he doesn't press. Instead, he's the exact friend I need. He sits there quietly and lets me lead the conversation into something more comfortable and away from everything ex-girlfriend and secret child.
I STUMBLE INTO BED at almost four o'clock in the morning, careful not to wake Lennon, who's sleeping in the guest room. However, as tired as I am, I can't seem to fall asleep. Not with everything being left so open and unresolved.
Grabbing my phone from my pocket, I swipe a few buttons until Saige's contact appears. Turns out, her number hasn't changed, so the second Raul gave it to me, I knew it was the right one. I pull my bottom lip between my teeth as I try to focus on the keys in front of me. All I can say is thank God for autocorrect.
Saige, I'm sorry if I came off a little strong tonight. The whole thing is a shock to the system. But I meant what I said. I want to get to know our daughter. I'll give you a few days, but here's where you can find me.
I add my address to the end of the message and press send. All I can do now is hope for the best and figure out what my next step is if it doesn't go my way. The only thing I know for sure, is I'll do whatever it takes to have that little girl in