Helpless (Steel Demons MC #5) - Crystal Ash Page 0,56

keep this feeling, both the physical sensations of her, and what surged through the deepest parts of me. But I should have known it was foolish to even think about keeping this.

Mari pulled away slowly, her cheek that had been pressed to my chest more flushed than the other.

“Thank you so much for telling me that, for showing me this.” Her arm slid away from my back. “We should probably head back.”

“Yes,” I grunted, already longing for the warmth and softness of her again. “Of course.”

She continued holding on to my hand as we walked back, her other hand wrapping around my forearm as I led us back to camp.

“What happened to him?” she asked quietly when we were almost there. “The botanist.”

My throat closed up when I heard the question, the dark emptiness wanting to drag me under until I was alone and cold again. It was familiar, a twisted type of comforting when faced with an uncomfortable question.

But talking to her, giving her small bits and pieces of me, felt good, even if doing it was strange and scared me to death. I liked the warmth better than the coldness, and I wanted to hold onto that.

“He died the next day.”

“I’m sorry.” She squeezed around my arm, hugging her body to it with her temple on my shoulder.

“Thank you. Me too.”

One day, a long time from now, I might be able to tell her the rest of it. That I heard his screams until his throat gave out, and his blood rained on me through the cracks in my cage.

Eighteen

MARIPOSA

Shadow and I stayed up talking over coffee when we got back, about small, innocuous things. I learned his favorite color was orange. Not because he liked to wear it, but because it reminded him of sunsets. He seemed very curious about why I was passionate about helping people, even total strangers. I found it difficult to articulate a reason, aside from feeling like I was meant to do it.

A few hours later, the others roused and the sun was just emerging from behind the trees. Larkan took a long look at me and my blanket sitting on Shadow’s bedroll, but thankfully didn’t comment.

“Mind if I ride with you?” I murmured quickly to Shadow before Larkan could swoop in.

Freyja meowed and wrapped herself around his ankles, looking up with a pleading kitten stare, as if she was backing me up.

He rolled up his bedroll and turned to his bike to secure it, but he couldn’t hide the pink flush creeping up his face.

“Sure, if you’d like to,” he muttered.

After a quick breakfast and packing everything up, we hit the road. I couldn’t even see over Shadow’s shoulder without lifting my butt from the seat. My hold around his waist was light, casual, just like with Larkan. But with this driver, I had to seriously restrain myself from squeezing around him and nuzzling my face into his back. He was like a brick wall I was desperate to turn into a soft, pliant place to cuddle.

I saw a glimpse of that side of him last night, and with every touch or hug it felt like we were disassembling this wall together, brick by brick. But I wanted him to feel safe in this process. He could still be strong without a wall built around him.

This ride was much shorter, and the landscape quickly changed again. Trees and lush greenery gave way to felled logs and barren ground. Pumpjacks in the distance moved in their slow, methodical rhythm, positioned over oil wells underground. And just beyond them…skyscrapers?

By my estimate, we were in what was once known as Wyoming, maybe roughly in the northern Colorado-western Nebraska area. But the shiny glass and metal buildings in the distance looked reminiscent of New York City or Los Angeles, both of which had been evacuated and then leveled to nothing decades ago.

T-Bone led us down a barely marked side road just as we passed the oil wells. He came to a rusted, barely-standing barn when he cut his engine and turned to us.

“We’ll leave the bikes in here,” he said. “No one will tamper with them.”

“Are you sure?” I looked at the structure skeptically.

“Trust me, little lady.” He grinned as the sound of wings fluttered, his raven temporarily blocking the sun before landing on his shoulder with a caw! “Your men ain’t the only ones who got their connections. Our things will be safe here. But once we’re in the city limits,” he nodded at