Nathan: I’ll tell you anything you want to hear when you come over tonight.
I squeezed my eyes shut. If I was too weak to move my thumb to delete. At least I didn’t have to torture myself reading anymore.
Belle dragged me into her sea, held me under till my lungs screamed, and then wrung out my time, love, and secrets until there was nothing left. She had the cheek to call pretty boys sirens, but the truth was, she sucked us into her cyclone, and when we were determined unworthy, we were spat out and left to die.
I gave Belle everything she asked of me, but she looked at me that night like I was the one who betrayed her.
“Nathan?”
I snapped my head up.
“We’re here.”
Chuckling with no real mirth, I stuffed my phone in my pocket. Torturing myself with thoughts of Belle. That’s one way to pass the time.
I didn’t reach for the knob right away. “How’s she been?”
“Good. Strong,” Abraham replied. “She misses you.”
“I’m getting her out of here, Abe. I promised her and I’ll do it even if she doesn’t hold me to it.”
“I’ve never doubted you would, Nathan.”
Clearing my throat, I said, “Go home, man. Kiss Renata. Watch that movie that’s been sitting on your queue for weeks. Get far away from this funhouse of horrors.”
“Goodnight, Nathan.”
Yeah, there it is for sure. Pity.
I climbed out of the car and stood before the glory of Steele Manor. Sixteen bedrooms, three kitchens, two drawing rooms, a basement, an attic, a billiards room, and a pool house all sitting on twelve acres of slightly sloping hills. The biggest mansion on this block, and there wasn’t enough room to hold me and him.
The entryway was cloaked in darkness. The staff left the lights on until the colonel retired for the night.
Ironic that in this case darkness is a good thing when dealing with the devil.
The colonel was safely in bed, and I could be with Mom in peace.
I rounded the staircase for the living quarters at the back. My mother had been moved to the first floor months ago to spare her climbing up and down the stairs every day. Her new room was no less a shrine to her comfort and achievements.
Awards for math and science stretching back to her first elementary science fair. Photos of her shaking hands with dignitaries and revolutionaries. And all the pictures there were in the house of me, my father, and the three of us together. The story of her life plastered on too-white walls.
I cringed at them like I did every time I stepped into Mom’s room. The first thing I’d do in our new house is paint her room yellow. Her favorite color.
A dainty figure in white sat at the vanity, running a brush through her chestnut curls. “Nathan,” she said, clear as a bell.
Bell.
Don’t go there.
“Come here. Give me a hug.”
I knelt beside my mother, wrapping her up and pressing my face on her stomach. Lavender detergent filled my nose, tickling me to sneeze. I just held her tighter.
“You’ll squeeze out all of my stuffing at this rate.” She laughed. “What’s wrong, love?”
“Wouldn’t it be quicker to ask what’s right?”
“Okay. What’s right?”
I dropped my head on her lap, settling in to fall asleep there if I had to. “Nothing. See? Quicker.”
“How can that be true? You’re young, handsome, and healthy. You have a mom that loves you and friends who are there for you. You got accepted into your first, second, and third choice colleges.”
She smacked my forehead.
“Hey,” I cried.
“You have a lot of things going right for you, Bug, and you better stop forgetting it.” Her stern tap, tap, tap on my head morphed into a gentle stroke through my curls. “Life is a collection of experiences, Nathan. The nature-versus-nurture debate can go on forever, but the truth is, we’re the sum of the things we’ve seen, the people we’ve met, and the chances we’ve taken.
“We can choose to shape our lives around the bad experiences. Be plagued by bitterness from people who’ve wronged us or filled with regret by the opportunities we let slip past. Or—”
“—we can hold on to the good,” I finished, “because at the end, we’ll wish we spent more time cherishing those great times and creating more of them. I know, Mom.”
“Of course, you do.” She kissed my temple. “Because a very smart woman told you so.”
“I wish it was that easy. You can try to paint a smile on and pretend