of my situation paralyzed me, and the knowledge of how much I’d let myself go in front of at least a dozen strangers caused tremors of anxiety all through my body.
I tried to stifle my trembling, to no avail. There was no way Azazel didn’t feel it.
I tensed, just waiting for him to make a cutting remark about it, to relish how successfully he’d put me back in my place. He’d proven, yet again, how he wielded more power than me. I might have won a single battle by forcing him to bargain and by negotiating for my Earth visits and freedom of movement, but that single advantage of mine was spent, my arsenal depleted. At this rate, I’d never win the war.
And I was so tired of fighting.
I just wanted to crawl under a blanket and hide. Hide from this new life of mine, from having to scratch and claw for the smallest bit of autonomy, from arguing and bickering and still losing, from the prying eyes of everyone in this room who’d just witnessed my own personal Girls Gone Bad spring break type moment of shame…from the demon who held my fate in his hands, held me even now while I unraveled a bit more with every tremor, while tears burned hot behind my eyes, threatening to erode the last bit of dignity I clutched on to.
Goddammit, if I cried right now, right here, I might as well crawl out of this room.
Azazel shifted forward without letting me go. The sudden sound of susurration startled me, and I jerked in his hold. When I opened my eyes and moved my head just so to see what happened, the room had darkened…no, not the room.
Satin black all around me, sliding over my exposed skin in a silken caress, covering me like a blanket.
I blinked, my mind playing catch-up. Were those really…?
Gingerly, I reached out, touched my fingers to the wall of black. Feathers—soft yet strong—with sparks of incipient flames dancing over their shiny onyx. I gasped as pinpricks of heat met my fingertips. Not painful per se, not searing, just…electrifying.
Large enough to wrap around me, Azazel’s wings blocked out the room. Blocked me from the room. I exhaled, my breath more intimate in this sudden, unexpected cocoon of privacy.
“Azazel,” Zaquiel said, clucking his tongue. His voice sounded a bit muffled through the wings.
Azazel’s chest rose and fell with his sigh. “What can I say? She likes to play with my feathers, and I do rather enjoy it when she does.”
I pulled my hand back from his wing as if burned.
His fingers stroked my hair, and I could have sworn his energy humming over my skin shifted with amusement.
Zaquiel said something else, but all I heard was Azazel’s voice in my head. Take a few minutes to compose yourself.
It was the gentle note in his tone that startled me almost as much as his wing maneuver did.
You’re not going to break apart here. That’s not what you do.
He shifted his wing just enough so I could see his face. His hand on my head moved to my jaw, lifted my chin, forced my gaze to his. I swallowed hard, my breath stuttering.
When I withdraw my wings, he continued, his eyes steady on mine, you’ll hold your head up like the tough little human you are.
His thumb brushed over my lower lip.
You just made every single demon in this room envy my exclusive right to touch you.
His power enveloped me, hot, dark, soothing.
So when you face them, you’ll do so knowing you’re something they desire, but can’t ever have. Show them what it’s like to look at something unattainable, love. Move like you own them.
I swallowed again, my throat dry and tight. Who are you, I said along the mental line between us, and what have you done with Azazel?
Laughter in those eyes of lightning, his energy a thunderstorm caress over my senses. There now. That’s better.
He looked away, presumably toward Zaquiel, and engaged in some non-business small talk, leaving me thrown off-kilter in an entirely different fashion than before. My head swirled with confusion, my chest tight with too many emotions I couldn’t sort through.
His one hand still stroked over my back in lazy moves, and every breath I took filled me with his aroma, intensified by his wings and the small space they created around me. I laid my forehead against his shoulder, closed my eyes and centered myself as best I could.