I shook my head, covering my mouth with my hand. Nausea swirled in my stomach.
“So you see,” he said, a dark undertone in his velvety voice. “A simple visit would cost me precious assets, more than setting you up here did. You think my life hasn’t changed, that your presence here is of no consequence? You could cost me—”
He broke off, his lips firming into a thin line, a muscle ticking in his jaw.
“What?” I narrowed my eyes. “I could cost you what?”
“My last nerve,” he muttered after a moment, sinister amusement curving his mouth.
Cop-out. I was about to needle him further when the tapestry behind me caught fire in a wave of sparks.
I shrieked, wanted to jump away—and froze when a huge splash of slimy, clear liquid hit the burning tapestry...and me along with it.
Gasping, I looked up at the ceiling, at the source of the unexpected slime projectile. There, retreating into the shadows between the rafters, hung an animal that looked like a cross between a bat and a cat. It yawned, showing a row of sharp teeth, and licked the spare drops of spittle from its maw.
“What the fu—” I whirled around to Azazel, cat-bat saliva dripping from my face, my hair, my fingers.
His smirk was even worse than the spit currently making its way down my neckline and between my breasts. “I told you it’s manageable.”
“The—I—this—” I sputtered and flailed, spraying drops of slobber all around me. “What the hell is this?” I pointed wildly at the ceiling. “How long has it been there?” My voice rose to a squeak. “What does it eat?”
Lines formed around his mouth, the skin on the corners of his eyes tightening. Was that jerk trying not to laugh?
He held up a finger. “A hellcat.” He added a second finger. “Since before you arrived.” Three fingers now. “Vermin.”
I waved my arms around. “And it spits on whatever spontaneously combusts in your house?”
“Convenient, isn’t it?”
“That’s revolting!”
“Oh, I don’t know.” His gaze dropped to my chest, where my drenched T-shirt now shamelessly hugged my breasts, emphasizing my peaked nipples underneath my equally wet bra.
I crossed my arms. “I’d prefer a sprinkler system.”
“So I’d forego the joys of seeing you covered in hellcat saliva?” He clucked his tongue. “Come now. Anything else I can get you, my love?”
I flashed my teeth. “Your head on a plate.”
“I thought you were vegetarian.” He walked backwards toward the door, his eyes dancing with mirth. “So bloodthirsty.”
And before I could throw a cushion after him, he was gone, the door once more shut and locked.
Chapter 6
After he left, I went straight to the shower, peeled myself out of the spit-soaked clothes, and scrubbed myself clean. It took an hour of repeated hair washes to remove any residue of hellcat saliva, and when I finally stepped out of the shower, my skin glowed rosy with how much I’d rubbed soap all over me.
I dressed in a new pair of jeans and a tank top, mindful of the ever-present heat of Hell. When I walked back into the living room, I eyed the gloom-shrouded rafters in the ceiling with caution.
Somewhere up there, Sir Spit A Lot lurked, waiting in the shadows to either devour some vermin—and good Lord, I didn’t even want to know what Hell’s definition of vermin actually was—or douse a spontaneous fire with his spittle. As I stared, the shadows shifted, claws scratched on stone, and a long, black tail swished down to dangle lazily from a rafter.
I shuddered.
I didn’t count as vermin, right? Azazel wouldn’t allow this thing here if it might feel inclined to gnaw on my limbs while I was sleeping.
I hoped.
My gaze fell on the burned tapestry, and I stopped short. It was gone, in its place a new one. The area appeared freshly cleaned, no sign of either the spontaneous combustion from earlier or the saliva fire extinguisher residue.
Someone must have come by and taken care of it while I was in the shower.
I examined the door again, still didn’t find a weakness to exploit, and went on to explore the rest of the rooms more thoroughly than before. To my surprise, the second room now featured my gym bag in addition to the treadmill, and my yoga mat and accessories were propped against the wall.
Exercise equipment, indeed.
Azazel’s words replayed in my mind, and with a new flash of embarrassment I remembered what else he’d brought here.
Face hot and pulse racing, I tried my damnedest to direct my thoughts toward the jerktastic