he’d gingerly trod on the physical remains of the Army of the Dead in their mountain.
Having reached the wall, I felt my way up and found a flat enough part of it to draw the sigil. With the blood dripping from the wounds on my left hand, I painted the strokes of the symbol as I remembered them. This had worked once before in the dark, I reminded myself. I could only hope it’d work again.
A flash of light. Too bright after the pitch-black, it blinded me for a few seconds as the sigil lit up then faded, leaving behind a darkness all the more stark for the brief interlude of light. I reached out and confirmed there was indeed an opening.
See you on the other side, Mephistopheles said, wry amusement in his tone. Or rather, back at home. A pondering pause. If you make it.
“Geez, Mephisto. Thanks for the vote of confidence.”
You’re welcome.
Sarcasm clearly wasn’t his forte.
“Bye. And thank you for your help,” I said and limped into the corridor. Before the doorway closed again, I turned and added, “If you see Azazel, tell him…tell him I’m not dead. Yet.”
Those are to be your last words to him?
Oh, my God, I was being judged by a self-important cat.
“Fine!” I huffed. “Tell him I—I—” I flailed. “He’s—”
The doorway closed and cut off my flustered sputtering, leaving me in the middle of trying to put into words what I hadn’t even begun to understand.
Breath sawing in and out of my lungs, I stood there in the darkness of the magical corridor for a moment. Now that the threat of the hellrats had passed, my adrenaline ebbing, the very real possibility that I’d never get to see Azazel again was sinking in.
Who knew what awaited me on the other side? What if this time, I wouldn’t be able to fight or sneak my way out of it?
The sharp pain in my chest had nothing to do with my physical wounds, yet it hurt just as keenly. I wanted to get back to him, not just to survive and be safe, but to be with him. He was fun, intriguing, sexy as fuck, and under that smoldering demon exterior beat a heart that was surprisingly…loving. Dammit, he’d grown on me. More than that. He’d snuck under my defenses, right past those walls I usually kept up in my relationships.
I’d been in love before with most of my previous boyfriends, yes, but I’d always held back a part of myself, had never let them see me vulnerable, had never relied on any of them. Why would I, when I never intended for them to become a permanent fixture in my life? To trust any of them with all of me under those circumstances was foolish.
I bit my lip as I considered how different this felt, this…whatever it was I had with Azazel. He’d seen me at my lowest, had seen me break apart, and he’d…taken care of me with a quiet kind of dedication that made something soft and intense curl and twist in my heart.
Did he have any idea what that did to me? How much it mattered?
How much he mattered to me?
He likely didn’t—because I hadn’t told him.
Oh, I was going to change that. If—when—I made it back to him, I’d let him know. I’d tell him that I lo—
My train of thought derailed spectacularly when, all at once, the chunk of memory I’d been missing fell back into place with a mental click that shook me to my core.
Oh, no.
Oh, no no no.
I covered my mouth with the back of my hand holding the dagger, my stomach dropping to below my feet. Ice-cold frost that burned crept inward from the tips of my fingers and toes until it reached my heart and seared me in a wave of white-hot shame.
The amrit.
My babbling.
Lucifer’s cruel smirk.
His taunting remarks.
The laughter.
And all the while, Azazel stood there in front of Lucifer’s court, in front of the very same demons who’d mocked him when he was a child, and he had to listen to me spill the secret of our marriage…which gave them all new ammunition to ridicule him.
Of course, it wasn’t technically my fault that I revealed the marriage deal, what with the amrit wreaking havoc on me. I knew that.
And yet.
My entire body flushing hot, my throat tight, I couldn’t help imagining how he must have felt in that moment, when my amrit-induced blabbing ripped his old wounds right the fuck open.