I was doing, not really. I thought it was a fun little spell or something.”
“Of course,” Lucifer said, his voice full of mirth, his chest shaking with silent laughter.
His amusement was echoed by the demons surrounding us, their chuckles almost drowning out the music. I wanted to laugh along with them, but that burning hot feeling in my chest didn’t let me. I scratched at my breastbone, trying to dislodge the feeling that reminded me too much of mortification.
Lucifer asked me something, but I didn’t hear what. The giant soap bubble floating behind his head distracted me something fierce. I leaned forward to pop it, but for some reason my coordination was off and I ended up poking my finger in Lucifer’s eye.
Or would have, if he hadn’t caught my hand at the last second.
“Phew, good catch,” I breathed.
He winked, brought my hand to his mouth, and nibbled at the tip of my still outstretched finger. I squirmed and slapped my hand free with my other hand. Neat to have two hands, wasn’t it?
“Nooooo,” I whispered harshly to Lucifer, cradling my hand that was smarting from where I’d slapped it to my chest. “You mustn’t do that. I’m a married woman. And I’m faithful.”
“To Azazel,” Lucifer said, his eyes full of mischief. “And he to you.” He pressed his lips together, obviously trying hard to hold back laughter. “The powerful, cunning Azazel, bound in holy matrimony to a human, for all eternity.” With his next words, the laughter burst past his restraint. “Trapped by the blundering incompetence of a foolish child.”
Guffaws and jeers rose all around us, and the dark, twisted, burning feeling in my chest flared up, seared off the edges of the happy fog I was in. I frowned, rubbed at my chest again, something nauseous and heavy churning in my guts.
“Hey,” I muttered, glaring at Lucifer. “That’s mean.”
“You don’t say,” he purred with a smile as sharp as a dagger’s edge. “I wonder, though, whether it wasn’t so much your incompetence as it was his. To stumble right into a summoning trap performed by a witless human youngling…” He clucked his tongue, a cruel twist to his mouth. “That takes a special talent in ineptitude, don’t you think?”
More laughter all around us, but this time I didn’t feel like joining in, despite the euphoria still wrapping me in soft, happy cotton that wouldn’t allow for any worries. Something seemed…off? And it wasn’t because I was keeling over yet again—Lucifer held me tight on his lap.
He was about to say something else when a thunderous boom rocked the hall. In an instant, Lucifer shoved me to the ground and rose to his feet. I hit the floor with an oomph, pain shooting up my hip and side where I’d landed. The world spun as if I were on a merry-go-round, and I flailed as chaos reined around me, more explosions going off near and far, Lucifer barking orders, demons running, and…glitter swirling through the air?
I uttered a delighted gasp, then squealed when someone grabbed me and threw me over a shoulder as they hauled me off.
“Wheeeee!” I grinned and stretched out my arms, pretending to fly backward.
Pink glitter rained down on me as I bounced with the hurried steps of whoever carried me. I stuck out my tongue to taste it and immediately regretted my decision. Ugh. Not sweet at all.
While I pouted, my gaze fell on the two swords strapped to the back of the demon over whose shoulder I was draped. I reached for the handle of one, kept missing, and got it on the third try. With a triumphant whoop, I unsheathed the blade and proceeded to brandish it toward the chaotic crowd we were leaving behind.
“My name is Inigo Montoya,” I yelled. “You killed my father. Prepare to die!”
The demon who carried me growled, reached back with one arm and wrested the sword from my grip.
Not a Princess Bride fan, then. Pity.
I was about to grab the second sword when the flex of the demon’s ass drew my attention. Well, hello. Stretching both arms, I tried to reach down to pinch the firmest backside I ever did see, only to ball my hands to fists at the last second.
No, no, bad. Faithful, remember? I shouldn’t go around fondling random demons’ butts.
But it looked so touchable, dammit! I stretched down again.
No, bad Zoe! I yanked my hands back and bit my lip.
“Stop wriggling,” the demon snarled, and I gasped, recognizing the voice.