A Hellion at the Highland Court (The Highland Ladies #9) - Celeste Barclay Page 0,36

as she thought back to when she arrived at Stirling eleven years earlier. She’d cried countless times, but it was never for her family specifically. It was for her clan and her life among them. Bitterness and anger filled the hole she supposed should have been gaping from leaving them behind. “No. Mayhap I wouldn’t still be so angry if I had. Mayhap if I’d admitted to myself just how much it hurt me, rather than hiding behind my anger, I would have let it all go.”

“Laurie, I was already forced upon one bride. I don’t wish to do that to another woman. I don’t ken that we can avoid marrying. But if you don’t wish to, and we can avoid it, I will take you to Campbell territory, to Kilchurn, and make sure you have the cottage you want. I can ensure your safety there, and you can have your freedom,” Brodie offered.

Laurel looked down at the head that rested against her belly. She closed her eyes as she imagined what life would be. Her heart was filled with pain rather than hope. Living among the Campbells, right outside Brodie’s gate, would mean watching him marry another. As his cheek pressed against her, she realized the life she thought she wished for meant never having a family of her own. She’d sworn to herself countless times that she would never abandon her children. But she wouldn’t have children without a husband. However, in Campbell territory she would be forced to watch Brodie’s children with his future wife grow up. She couldn’t conjure a reasonable explanation for her visceral reaction against that, but she knew she couldn’t do that.

“Laurie?”

“Aye, Brodie. I was just thinking aboot what you offered. I can’t do it,” Laurel whispered the last four words.

“But I could protect you. You could be a seamstress as you said. Mayhap one day you might fall in love and wish to marry.” Brodie didn’t know how he voiced the last idea without choking on the words. He didn’t want to see Laurel marry someone else, find happiness with someone else. While he thought he could endure the agony of her living within reach but not having her, the notion that someone else would share her life, tore at him.

“Mayhap this is but a passing infatuation between us. But I can’t—” Laurel drew her lips in, unable to admit her feelings, unable to leave herself that vulnerable. Brodie looked up at her before he stood. They fell against one another, their mouths fusing as need clawed at them both. Brody lifted Laurel, and she bent her knees as he moved her over the window seat. Kneeling on it, they were at eye level, making the kiss easier. When they drew apart, both gasping for air, they leaned their foreheads together. Brodie kept his arms wrapped around her narrow waist, while Laurel cupped his jaw and nape.

“I dinna want ye to fall in love with someone else, Laurie,” Brodie murmured. “I will do aught I can to help ye, but I confess I dinna want to spend ma life watching ye with someone else.”

“Neither do I. That’s why I canna.” They both fell back into their brogues, and Laurel realized how much she missed the lilting tones. “I dinna want to wish any mon I married was someone else, and I dinna want to watch ye with bairns that arenae mine. Mayhap this is naught more than lust, but it pains me to think aboot that. I would rather be across the world from ye than to spend the rest of ma days seeing that.”

“It doesnae have to be that way,” Brodie reminded her.

“Brodie, I want to trust ye. I do. But I’m scared to. I’m scared because it would hurt so much more than it did when I left Balnagown or when ma father cut me off.”

“Cut ye off?”

Laurel didn’t have a chance to answer before a forceful rap sounded at her door.

Ten

“Laurel?” Monty’s voice floated through from the other side. Laurel’s eyes widened as she looked at Brodie. The most notorious gossips among her peers had already caught them, but even that was less scandalous than anyone finding Brodie in her chamber.

“A moment, Monty,” Laurel called back. She turned horrified eyes to Brodie, who didn’t look perturbed in the lease.

“Are we in agreement to wed?” Brodie whispered.

“I—I think so. But that doesnae mean I wish for it to be entirely in shame,” Laurel hissed. Brodie sighed but dropped a peck