excited is the right word,” I said to her now. “Motivated might be better. I want people to see what I’m worth. And Bea seems skeptical that I can pull this off without violating the Diplomatic Code, which I know she made up, but I still want to prove her wrong. How many nails do you need?”
“Two,” she said, marking spots on the wall with a pencil. “Bea doesn’t think you’re that incompetent. She’s just being Bea. Don’t let her rub off on you.”
I handed over the nails. “I am looking forward to having something concrete to do, since I am so disappointing otherwise.”
Lacey clenched a nail in her teeth and shot me a frown over her shoulder. The Mail had recently written a story suggesting that I was abdicating my royal responsibilities by not producing an heir.
“The Mail is full of it,” she said, pounding the other nail into the wall. “Having babies is not your only purpose in life.”
“It kind of is, though,” I said. “Producing the next monarch is the only part of my job description anyone can agree on. Even three old ladies at Crocheting for Cancer asked Nick when we’re going to get on with it already.”
“That’s so rude,” Lacey said, punctuating this with one final strike of the hammer. “It’s none of anyone’s business.”
“Again, though, it kind of is,” I said. “If I don’t go into labor soon, they’ll probably call for my head.”
“You never even wanted kids that much, did you?” she asked. “I used to assume you’d be my kids’ hippie aunt, like the one in the Ramona Quimby books, who is all cool and carefree and gives the best presents.”
“I never really thought about it,” I said. “I assumed I had my whole life to figure it out. And now here I am, married barely a year, still not sure what I’m doing, and being told I’m late getting pregnant.”
“Don’t let their retrograde shit get you down. You’ll get around to it when it’s right for you,” Lacey said. “Until then, everyone else can mind their knitting. Or their crocheting. Whatever. Does this look straight to you?” She stood back to admire her handiwork. The framed black-and-white photo was of her and Olly laughing with two elephants in the distant background.
“It looks beautiful,” I said. “What’s next?”
“The kitchen,” she said. “Olly is still using a bunch of old stuff he got from his parents. We need to clear out.”
“Aha, there, I can help you,” I said, following her into the petite, bright blue space. “It’s the one skill set I’ve honed.”
Lacey reached into a cupboard and pulled out a saucepan that was chipped and peeling on the inside. “How can a person eat anything that was cooked in here?” she marveled. “It’s probably giving us lead poisoning or something. It’s definitely not good for—” She stopped speaking suddenly and pursed her lips.
“Uh, no, try again,” I said. “What did you just decide not to tell me? This is the same expression you had on your face the day you told me you lost your virginity, so it must be big.”
“Okay, well…” Lacey wrung her hands. “If you’re behind schedule on the babies, then I’m unexpectedly way ahead.”
“Lacey,” I gasped. “This is huge news!”
She clapped both her hands over her mouth, as if she could shove the words back inside. “We just found out. It’s early, so we’re keeping it to ourselves, but I can’t not tell you,” she said through her fingers.
“Congratulations!” I threw my arms around her. “I mean, I assume you’re excited. Are you excited? I guess I should have asked you that first. Lacey! I cannot believe you let me blather on about my own stupid uterus this entire time!”
Lacey hugged me back. “I still can’t believe it’s real,” she said into my hair. “I don’t remember being lackadaisical about birth control, but here we are, so…I think it’s fate.” She pulled away and smiled, and it was brighter than the room’s paint job. “It’ll set back my graduate work for a bit, but I have my whole life to hit that target. I’m really, really happy about it, Bex,” she said. “It feels really, really right.”
“Then I’m really, really thrilled,” I said. “I am going to be amazing at coming over and giving the baby very loud gifts and then leaving.”
“Yeah, well, that street goes both ways,” Lacey said, but she was grinning. “You have a contract to fulfill, remember? Don’t give me all your rude ideas.”