Heat Race - Tanya Chris Page 0,66

to Saul, “Jack Henry needs a womb, an egg sac, a fertilization chamber, and the tube that ties them together.”

“Wouldn’t Jack Henry know if he had all that going on inside him?” Saul prodded his stomach, as if checking for any spare wombs.

“It’s not like I’ve ever noticed having an appendix. Anyway, we’ll find out on Thursday, I guess.”

“I don’t understand why he waited so long to schedule an appointment.”

“He’s scared. Scared of what it’ll mean, of what we might expect from him.”

“Nothing,” Saul said emphatically. “I don’t expect anything from him. I just want…”

“A baby?”

“No. Well, yes, but I’ve been trying not to think too hard about babies. What I was going to say is that I want to stop using condoms, but if it turns out he can get pregnant and he doesn’t want to get pregnant, then…”

“Yeah.” Elias put the book back on the shelf, lining its spine up exactly with the volumes next to it. They were all sick of the condoms. “You don’t even—” He glanced around to make sure no one was in earshot. He didn’t see anyone, but he lowered his voice anyway. “You don’t even fuck him very often anymore. Is that because of the condoms?”

“I like it when Jasper comes inside me.” Saul touched his hand to his chest, in that familiar spot where Elias ached. “I wish I could come inside Jack Henry. I don’t know why, but it feels like it matters.”

The wheels in Elias’s brain spun around until they clicked into place. “Because fluid exchange builds the bond,” he said a touch too loudly. He cleared his throat and lowered his voice to continue. “That first night all three of us came inside Jack Henry, and I, um, partook of your come. But since then, I haven’t exchanged fluids with anyone except him, and only when we suck each other to completion, which isn’t all that often. That’s why my bond to the pack is so weak.”

“Jasper thought it might be touch.”

“I’m sure touch helps.” Elias reached for Saul’s hand, threading their fingers together. “But come is like touch on speed. That drive we’ve all been feeling to fuck, fuck, fuck? I think it’s the bond trying to promote fluid exchange, except we’re thwarting it by using condoms.”

“That first night, we all had some of Jack Henry’s blood too. Remember how Jasper shared it with us?”

“Oh, good point.” Elias did remember. The first thrum of connection had come with that mouthful of blood. “I’ll bet blood is even more potent than come.”

“So instead of fucking each other, we should chew on each other?”

“You gonna let me chew on you?” Elias took a peek around. Not seeing any sign of his boss, he went up on his toes to brush a kiss across Saul’s lips. “Maybe not where I work.” He wasn’t sure when he’d stopped seeing Saul as competition, but when he looked at Saul now, he only saw mate, and while he hadn’t ever considered fucking another alpha before, he spent a moment considering it now. The image had him adjusting himself the way Saul had done a few moments ago.

“It’s a good thing you don’t mind receiving,” he told Saul. “We wouldn’t have a bond at all if you were as inflexible as I am, and it’s not like I want to be inflexible. It’s just this damned alpha brain. Sometimes I wish I’d been born human.”

“Me too.”

“But you’re perfect as an alpha.”

“Only on the outside. On the inside, I’m supposed to be… bossier, I guess.”

“Thank all the gods you’re not. The rest of us are bossy enough, including Jack Henry. You make me feel safe, Saul.”

“You don’t feel safe with Jasper?” Saul asked, as if he couldn’t imagine such a thing.

How to explain? Physically, Elias felt incredibly safe with Jasper. Having seen what he could do, it was hard to believe anyone would ever be allowed to harm what he considered his. Regardless of the state of their bond, Jasper would protect Elias with his life.

But on an emotional level, Jasper made Elias feel… not unsafe exactly, but unequal. Because Elias had the alpha ego Saul had managed to escape, which was why he would rather have been born human. If he couldn’t be the best alpha, why be one at all? As a kid, he’d loved imagining himself as an old-time uber-alpha, only to grow up and fail at being a regular-old modern-day alpha.

“We’re a pack,” Saul said, sounding very definite about it. “Which