Hearts the Last Beat (Angel Fire #6) - Ellie Masters Page 0,73

who saw me, really saw me, and made me feel as if I could be everything to him.

Not that I need a man to validate my existence, but I loved the connection, the sense of being a part of something bigger than myself. I liked being part of an us instead of just me. And more than anything else, I loved how Spike treated me as an equal rather than a silly kid with starry eyes and a fleeting crush.

With my heart shattered, I accept the truth. I turn the engine back on and pull away from the curb. I drive slow, needing to burn his betrayal into my brain. I’ll need that later, if a moment of weakness ever hits.

When it hits.

I’m weak-willed when it comes to him. Not to mention, my desire for a happily-ever-after is too strong. It just won’t be with him.

As I drive past the house, Spike turns.

Everything happens in slow motion. He pivots. Our gazes connect. His eyes round. His mouth gapes, and he gives a shake of his head.

I return the stare, injecting all my pain into that look. My eyes narrow into thin slits as my lips press into a hard line. I spit out all the venom and fury I can muster as I slowly drive past.

He shouts, but whatever he says is drowned out by the hollow drum pounding inside my skull. It’s swallowed by the aching pit where my heart used to reside.

The moment I turn the corner, my foot hits the gas. I race away from that place, tears falling, vision blurred, heart breaking, as I gain speed and put as much distance behind me as I can.

Five miles later, the car runs out of gas. I spend the next five hours waiting for roadside assistance to bring five gallons of gas. Then slowly, I limp home.

In retrospect, running out of gas turns out to be a good thing. All that time standing alone on the side of the road tells me two things. First of all, I don’t need anyone but myself. I’m fully capable of taking care of my needs. And finally, while my heart is broken, it will heal with time.

Bash wants me to get on with my life. In those five hours, I make a plan. I’ll spend one final night at Insanity. It’s just enough time to pack my things. After that, I’m gone.

Twenty-Seven

Spike

My heart swells with joy when I see Angel driving past, but the agony scrawled across her face cuts through that joy and turns it into eviscerating terror.

No. No. No. No.

My heart leaps into freeform panic, and I race down the driveway. I call out her name because I know exactly what she saw, and what it looks like.

Fuck me.

“Angel, stop!” My throat seizes as I trip over my own feet. “Stop!”

She speeds away. I chase, but she turns a corner and is gone. I bend over double, gasping for breath. This isn’t how I wanted her to find out about Lucy.

On my way over to Lucy’s place, I made the decision to include Angel in this part of my life. I want her involved in all the bits and pieces that make up who I am, especially this piece. It’s the most important part of who I am.

Angel Fire is a pretty big deal, but when it comes to my making a mark, Lucy, Trevor, and Ian are what I’m most proud of. Granted, I did nothing. All I did was sign my name to a ledger. The doctors and nurses did the rest. Lucy, Trevor, and Ian battled the disease. I waltzed in, took some pain relievers, had a needle driven into my hipbone, and left that day. My contribution was minimal.

But still, it matters.

I matter.

Lucy’s baby would never be if not for me. It sounds arrogant, but it’s true. Trevor would’ve never survived to meet his wife. Someday soon, I expect I’ll be standing by his side as his child is brought into this world. As for Ian? I can only hope he survives his disease.

It’s the one thing I’ve held onto, keeping it hidden from everyone else, but I want nothing hidden from Angel. I want her to be a part of my life in every way. But my joy turns to this stomach twisting dread when I realize two things.

First off, why is Angel here? What brought her to Lucy’s home?

There’s only one answer to that, and my balls draw up in debilitating fear when