It made the most sense if he was letting me go. I’ve read the journal I found on his doorsteps. I saw how much that man loved the girl with the violet eyes. She showed up at his door, and I saw the way he reacted. Sure, he told her to leave, and he got angry, but the root of anger is almost always love.
You don’t react that way if you don’t still care about someone. Simply the sight of Kerenza made him nearly punch a wall.
I think about that moment, and the moment that followed when I couldn’t get out of there fast enough. Sometimes I wonder what would’ve happened had I stayed. And then I tell myself I’d be playing second fiddle the rest of my life, living in the shadow of the woman Ace will always love a little bit more than any other.
“I don’t even know if he’ll want to go. He just met me. He might think I’m crazy asking him to be my date to a friend’s wedding reception.” Topaz’s gaze hones in on the lit screen of her phone once more. She fights a smile, firing off another text.
“If he’s texting you this much, he’s obsessed,” Wren says. “He’ll totally go.”
Topaz rolls her eyes, groaning. “Fine. I’ll ask him. Just promise you two won’t embarrass me. He’s really, really cool, and all I can think about is the last time I brought a guy around, you and Wren got drunk and started pulling up pictures on her phone from when I had that really awful pixie cut and went through that black lipstick phase. Never heard from him again after that, and I actually kind of liked him.”
“Lucky for you, I’ll be sticking to sparkling cider this weekend, so . . .” Wren pats her belly before turning to me. “Aidy, you’re awfully quiet over there. You doing okay?”
“Yeah, just thinking about next month,” I lie. “The big move.”
“Ugh, I’m so jealous.” Topaz crosses her legs and turns to me. “You have no idea how lucky you are to get to live in L.A. for six weeks. You should take me with you because I could really use a change of scenery. I can trade in the Chrysler building for palm trees, and I wouldn’t even think twice about it. We’d be back in time for Thanksgiving, too. Lord knows I can’t miss my Macy’s parade.”
I rub my lips together and take a deep breath. “I don’t know if I’m coming back.”
“What?” Topaz’s face crinkles. “I know you talked about moving out there, but I never thought you were serious about it.”
Shrugging, I say, “I want to build Glam2Go on the West coast, and with it still being in its infancy, I don’t want to delegate that to someone else. And there’s more work out west than there is here, we all know that.”
“Yeah, but . . .” Topaz’s shoulders slump. “This is all happening so fast.”
I glance over at Wren. “You can blame Fertile Myrtle for that.”
“Hey.” Wren shoots a sharp look my way.
“Are you happy with the fit?” the attendant asks my sister. She nods, and the woman helps her back behind a silk curtained dressing room.
“You sure it’s okay I’m bringing a date?” Topaz asks, reaching for my hand. We had lunch together last Monday, and I spent the entirety of it venting to her, holding back tears, and justifying my actions while she gave me some rare, undivided attention. She knows the state my heart is in right now.
“Yes,” I say with a little more force than the last time. “Do it. Bring him.”
Topaz exhales, her stare hardening. “You should call him.”
“What? No.” I don’t hide my annoyance. We’ve been over this. And she agreed. He’s obviously still in love with Kerenza. He hasn’t let go yet.
And he lied.
It’s easier this way, anyway. I’m moving. This makes things a lot less complicated. Besides, it was nothing more than a glorified summer fling, and summer flings aren’t meant to last.
At least that’s what I’ve been telling myself all week.
My stomach twists, the way it’s been doing all week every time I think of him. There’s been a heaviness in my chest, and it seems every other hour I find myself on the verge of tears over the most trivial things, like not being able to get the lid off the peanut butter jar or accidentally dumping out a brand new jar of Laura Mercier setting powder.