The Heartbreaker of Echo Pass - Maisey Yates Page 0,75

think you have all the time in the world to change things with people.” She shook her head. “When she died, my younger sisters were really small. They were a handful, I mean they were little kids. And I was fourteen and things were changing in my life and I wanted... It doesn’t really matter. It’s just, I always wonder how it would have been if I’d known. It’s just you always think you have forever, so much time. Until you realize you don’t.”

“That’s the nature of loss,” he said. “You have all kinds of perspective afterward. On what matters. On what you wish you would’ve done differently. Believe me. I have truckloads of perspective and nothing to do with it. And you know, you can share that with other people, try to pass it on, try to make sure that they maybe live their lives with a little bit more thought, but until they experience loss, they won’t. Not permanently. And anyway, grief skews perspective. That’s something I’ve learned. It makes the air seem thick and your head seem fuzzy. And how do you fight through it to figure out which part of the perspective you’re supposed to keep? I’ve been in a grief monastery, but I don’t know that it’s benefited anyone. I know how important the people were that I lost. I know it down to my bones. I couldn’t have any more perspective on that. But when it comes to perspective on living... Well, I’ve been pretty short on that.”

“Me too,” she said. “I wish that I wasn’t. I wish that I hadn’t spent so much time hiding myself away. I guess. I don’t know, though. I talked to my brother a couple days ago. And he said it took him until last year to figure himself out, so... I’m four years younger. I guess I still have more perspective than he does. Or, at least, had.”

“Well, there you go. You’ve got time.”

“Opening this bakery is going to take a lot of time and energy. Plus, I’m still working up at your house...”

“Iris,” he said. “Are you about to warn me off? Let me down gently?”

“I don’t want to let you down,” she said. “By which I mean I don’t... I mean... Well, I would like to keep... Doing what we’re doing. I just...”

“Honey, you don’t need to give me the talk about what this is.”

“I don’t?”

“Being with you makes me feel good. And I didn’t think that anything could. Not a damn thing, Iris. I haven’t felt good in a long time. But that’s all it is. It’s just feeling good. It’s not really...”

“It’s not really your heart.”

“There’s nothing left of that.”

“That’s not true,” she said. “There’s a lot left of it. I know. I’ve seen it. But I get what you mean. And no worries. I’m in love with my bakery. That’s the most important thing to me.”

“Glad to hear it.”

“But I would like to keep having sex.” She looked around, like she was afraid she might get caught. “Because I do really like that.”

“Well, very glad to hear that.” He rubbed his chin and looked around the room. “All things considered, I don’t need you to come up and bring me meals anymore.”

She frowned. “Well, but then I won’t see you as much.”

“Iris, I don’t even have indoor plumbing, and you shouldn’t have to use an outhouse when we are together. I can rent a place in town if you don’t want anyone seeing my truck here, or I can park around the block, whatever you want. I don’t mind staying here with you, but it is up to you.”

“You can stay here with me.”

“Then I’ll do that.”

“I like your cabin,” she said. “There’s something magical about it. About... The way that it’s like we’re the only two people in the world up there.”

She looked away, as if embarrassed. As if she had realized that that flew in the face of what they’d just been talking about. Not being romantic and having connections, just sleeping together.

He understood, though, because he’d felt the same thing. There was magic between them up there, and maybe that was all the more reason to bring it down into the real world.

He’d told himself that last time they were together up there that there wasn’t a place for it here. But there could be. People did it all the time.

It was... A normal thing.

Two conflicting feelings hit him at the same time. Happiness, in a strange way. That