Heartbreak You - T.L. Smith Page 0,65
he sidesteps in front of me.
“How are you, Theadora? I miss you.”
My heart speeds up while my hands clench at my sides. “I’m good, Atlas. How have you been?”
Atlas’s eyes rake over my body, and he does it ever so slowly that I can feel my pulse beating in my neck. P-pump. P-pump. P-pump.
“I could be better.”
My throat constricts, but I manage to swallow. “That so?”
He looks wistful while gazing at me. “You look… good, Theadora. But then again, you always did, didn’t you?”
I’m not sure how I’m meant to answer that. So, I don’t. Instead, I look past him to the door. No one is there, and I’m not sure how much longer I want to stay here chatting with a man I want so badly but know I can’t have. I’m not sure how much willpower I have when I am around him, and the last thing I want is to test it.
“You’re avoiding looking at me, Theadora.” He says my name as if he’s tasting it on his tongue.
I furrow my brows as I look at him, then glance away.
“Relax, Theadora,” he says low enough that my eyes find him again. “I won’t bite.” His eyes graze over me again.
“But you do bite, and you take what’s not yours,” I say. “I wasn’t yours, and you took me with no questions asked,” I clarify, confident that he will get the message.
How wrong I am.
“Only you, Theadora. Only you.” He’s pulling me in, his eyes glancing over me, not leaving one inch of me unexplored.
“If you say so.” I grind my teeth together angrily, fed up with all his words. “I have to go.” This time I manage to slide past him, and don’t look back as I step to the door. I knock fast and heavy, hoping my beating heart will calm down sooner rather than later.
Willow answers with a beaming smile and steps by to let me inside. “You just missed Atlas. He’s amazing with Benji,” she coos. “Benji smiles for him, it’s beautiful to see.”
I bet it is. A man like him with a baby in his arms, most women would pay good money to see that.
“Benji was just put down for a nap, would you like a coffee before we wake him?”
“I can wait, and coffee would be great. I just need to call work, I won’t be long.”
“Are you sure?”
“It’s fine. I’ll step out for a few minutes.” I smile. It’s forced, but I manage to pull it off.
Walking outside, I shut the door behind me and look over at his car. Atlas turns and looks back just before he slides in, dropping his sunglasses, hiding his glare from me.
I can’t read him anymore.
I look away, and with my hands shaking I press call on my cell. As he pulls out onto the road, I hear the rev of his engine behind me.
And suddenly I’m falling back into him—down to where I was before.
Down to Atlas’s level.
Now, I have to try and claw myself out of there again.
It’s not going to be an easy feat.
Chapter Twenty-Eight
Atlas
Seeing her in person is a shock to my system.
She’s everything I want.
And I have no fucking doubt about it.
Now, I just have to convince Theadora that I’m enough for her, that I can be enough for her.
“How is he?” Lucy says as I sit in front of her. She asked me to come to visit her, and I have turned down every single one of her requests. That is until today.
“He’s healthy and happy,” I reply, referring to her son. “He has incredible parents.”
She sits on her legs, bites her nails, and looks behind her. The doctors are out there, and we are in an open room where other guests and patients are also located.
“Did you tell Thea I want to see her?” She doesn’t remove her fingers away from her mouth so she murmurs the words.
“Yes. She isn’t ready.”
Lucy looks down. “I’m doing better, I swear.”
“It’s only been a few months, Lucy. It takes time.”
It turns out Lucy is bipolar, amongst other things. She is on medication to help and attending lots of guidance sessions and cognitive therapy groups to help guide her through her diagnosis. I can see an improvement already, but I don’t understand why I’m here. If she’s changed, she must know by now I don’t want her.
It’s been hard to get this fact through to Lucy. Not once have I ever given her the impression I want her.
“Can you tell Thea I’m