Heartbreak Lover (Broken Hearts Academy #2) - C.R. Jane Page 0,45
seen my phone?”
“I think you might have left it at the club because I haven’t seen it. I didn’t know who to call or have any numbers of my own to call.”
“They’re probably all freaking out.”
“Jackson,” Caiden commented, watching me intensely in that way that he always did since he’d come back.
“Lane,” I corrected, although Jackson was probably freaking out as well. Maybe. We still had yet to have a conversation that didn’t involve our bodies taking over.
But I couldn’t ignore that the only person I wanted with me right now was him.
“I texted Jackson since that’s one number I did have, but I haven’t heard from him. For all I know, he blocked my number after everything though.”
I didn’t know what to say to that. Tearing them apart was something I’d actively tried to avoid from the beginning, but I couldn’t deny that it felt good for the truth to be out there. I didn’t know what I would have done if Jackson had found out the truth…and done nothing. It felt right for someone to fight for me for once, like I was a person who deserved to be fought for.
“How do you feel right now?” Caiden asked, approaching the chair next to me slowly, even though I could tell by how close it was to the bed that he’d already been sitting in it at some point.
“Terrible,” I croaked. “And I just can’t believe that Landry… I knew something was off with how I was acting, but it was like I was watching someone else, like I was existing outside my body.” I started to cry again, my shoulders trembling. He reached a tentative hand out and took my hand in his, squeezing mine gently. Some of my tears fell on his skin, and his hand jumped like they’d burned him.
“Sorry,” I mumbled.
“I’d forgotten how sweet your tears were,” he whispered under his breath, almost like the comment hadn’t been meant for me. And it shouldn’t have been meant for me.
It was fucking creepy.
“You certainly saw enough of my tears over the years.” I let go of his hand like it was poison and folded my arms, trying to hug myself and give myself the comfort that I needed right now, since there was no one else to give it to me.
Just like always.
“Is there something wrong with me? Am I just doomed for bad shit to happen to me over and over again?” I looked at Caiden, still watching me, like he could provide answers for the bad luck that seemed to follow me everywhere.
Caiden was mercifully silent.
I’d always wanted to believe that we were in charge of our own fate. My father had chosen to steal from all the people that had trusted him. He’d chosen to kill himself. My mother had chosen to be a selfish harpy, holding on to her past riches above all else.
But now I wasn’t so sure about that.
I hadn’t chosen to love Jackson and Caiden. My brain hadn’t been an active participant in the journey. It was like there had been an invisible string connecting me to them all the time, leaving me with no choice. And then when my soul had changed the story, deciding that Jackson was the only one who could complete it…well, I hadn’t had a choice in that either.
I wasn’t so sure that I had a choice in my life anymore. And I was beginning to think that I’d done something wrong in a past life, because fate had been a total bitch to me lately.
The memory of Landry stroking my most intimate parts had me wanting to throw up again. I felt ruined.
“You’re not ruined, LyLy. Nothing could diminish your perfection,” Caiden said firmly, and I realized I’d spoken the words out loud.
“Where’s Landry now?” I asked, my gaze jumping to the door like I expected him to appear there at any minute.
“Hopefully hiding in a dark cave somewhere, because if I ever see him again, he’ll regret the day he was born. I was so worried about getting you to the hospital that he didn’t get what he deserved.” He looked at me apologetically, like he’d done something wrong by choosing to save my life over seeking retribution.
I studied him, my gaze drifting over his features that I thought I might know better than I knew my own. The Caiden sitting here…he reminded me of the old him. The one I’d loved with all my soul…like a brother.