Heartbreak Lover (Broken Hearts Academy #2) - C.R. Jane Page 0,37

I would want to hear.” But even as I said the words, I remembered a time when that boy had been everything, when he’d defended me when no one else but Jackson would. I remembered him buying me lunch every day, sticking up for me in front of his parents…I remembered it all.

And a little piece of me weakened, a tiny chunk of the wall of hate I’d built around everything inside of me that was Caiden crumbled to the ground.

But still, I kept walking.

It was raining outside. I used to love the rain. Now I hated it, avoided it like it would burn my skin if a raindrop dared to touch me.

I was alone in my room. Melanie had been scarce over the last few months, I assumed with a new boytoy. It was fabulous.

So here I was, sitting in my desk chair, staring out my window at the rain like some kind of character in an Enya song.

I stood up suddenly, my chair toppling over behind me at the movement.

The truth was, I didn’t hate the rain…I was scared of the rain.

And that was just about the dumbest thing I’d ever heard of.

I was going to go out and walk in the rain until I wasn’t scared anymore…until I was clean.

Maybe the rain could wash away every trace of that night.

I was willing to try anything at this point.

As I walked down the hall of my dorm, I ignored all the looks that I got. I’d become somewhat of a laboratory animal these last few weeks. Ever since the classroom incident.

Shrugging off their looks was becoming easier and easier. Maybe one of these days, I would finally grow a thick skin.

I hesitated before I took my first step out into the rain. It was falling steadily, not quite a downpour but not a sprinkle either.

The first step nauseated me. The feeling of the raindrops splattering on my skin almost felt like fire licking at me. But as I took one more step, and then another…it got easier, just as all things did the more you did them.

Why hadn’t I done this before?

When I was fully submerged under the falling sky, I turned my head up and welcomed the feeling of the rain tumbling on my face.

And maybe I did feel a little cleaner.

Until I heard Caiden’s voice once again.

“Everly,” he breathed.

Closing my eyes, I slowly turned and faced him.

He stood there, soaking wet, like he’d been waiting for me for hours right in that spot. His hands were in his pockets, his broken face still beautiful, despite what I suspected were Jackson’s best attempts to change that.

“What do you want from me, Caiden?”

“I don’t remember what I did. I don’t have a clue how I’m even capable of doing what Jackson told me I did. I can’t even comprehend it. But I’m so fucking sorry for it.” His voice broke as he spoke, his tears joining the rain splashing down his face.

“I’ll do anything to get you to forgive me. Anything. For almost my whole life, it’s been the three of us. And now you’re both gone, and I can’t even remember why.” He pulled at the bottom of his shirt, twisting and turning it like he wanted to rip the fabric in half.

He took a step towards me, and for the first time, I held my ground. My stillness must have given him confidence, because he kept walking until he was right in front of me.

“Please, LyLy, please forgive me. Please know that I won’t ever hurt you again. I’ll live my life to make you happy. I’ll always be here for you. You’ll never be alone.”

My eyes widened at his words, as they were an echo of words he’d said in our shared past, promises he made to me.

And I knew how those promises ended up.

Broken, just like me.

But I was also so very tired of carrying around all of this hate and fear and disgust for myself, because I still believed whole-heartedly that I carried some of the blame for what happened that summer.

“I forgive you, Caiden,” I whispered, the words getting caught in the rain. They sounded wrong as I released them.

His whole face softened. “Thank you,” he said, lifting up his hand to touch my face.

I took a step out of reach, and he frowned.

“But we won’t ever be the same. We can’t ever be the same.” I sighed, pushing my dripping wet hair from in front of my eyes. “I’ll always be