Heartbreak Bay (Stillhouse Lake #5) - Rachel Caine Page 0,126
walks over to the chair, spins it around to face the monitors, and leans forward, watching. I look too. I can’t help it. My vision is getting clearer and clearer, and the horrible thing I’m seeing sharpens along with it.
“She chose this,” he tells me. “Sheryl Lansdowne. You understand, I didn’t do it out of cruelty. I let her make all the choices. I always do.”
I can’t answer him. I blink, and I see Sheryl is moving. Just her torso and head. Arms and legs pallid and still around her like some kind of horrific art installation. And even knowing what I know—or at least suspect—I feel a surge of sickness.
“Gwen can stop her suffering, if she chooses,” he continues. “I think she will. That’s the easy choice.”
Gwen has never taken an easy path. I don’t know what this man is thinking. Or why. Maybe I never will. I try to stay calm, but I’m scared. I don’t know if what happened to me back there at the cannery would have hurt my baby. I’m afraid that my nose will stop up and I won’t be able to breathe, and that would be a shitty, stupid way to die.
I’m afraid that help isn’t coming. That Gwen and I will just vanish off the map like magic, alive or dead.
I just want to go back to sanity. Safety. Javier and the baby and life.
Jonathan keeps watching Gwen. He leans forward. Sometimes he talks to her, but mostly he just . . . watches. When Sheryl starts to scream, it’s horrible. I shut my eyes and try not to hear it, try not to hear Gwen offering what little she can in the way of comfort. It takes forever to stop. Don’t cry, I tell myself. You can’t cry. You need to breathe. Keep breathing.
When I open my eyes again, it’s silent. Jonathan is sitting back in his chair. I think he’s surprised.
He hits a button. He’s just unlocked the room, I realize. And Gwen—bloody, distraught, bone-pale Gwen—stands up and leaves.
I listen to their exchange, not because I want to but because I have no other choice. I’m scrabbling with my fingertips against the pipe. It’s smooth. No rough surfaces. The floor is too. I can’t find anything, anything to work with.
Jonathan presses another button, then swivels his chair to face me. He leans forward and studies me like I’m a damn museum exhibit. No feeling at all. “Does the gag bother you?”
I nod. He scoots the chair over and undoes it, and I grab in a deep, whooping breath of relief. Then another one. Then I say, “You need to let us go. Right now.”
“I’m not going to hurt you,” he says. “You’re safe here.”
I don’t feel safe. I feel handcuffed to a damn pipe. “I’m pregnant.”
He freezes for a second. Processing the information. Then he says, “Then I’m sorry for the way I treated you. And the car crash. But you’ll be okay. I promise I won’t hurt you.”
“Then you can let me go. Right now.”
He smiles, but there’s nothing behind it. It’s just muscles moving. An imitation of feeling. “I’d like to,” he says. “But I respect you more than that, Kezia Claremont. You could have let this go, and you didn’t. You wanted justice for those girls. I did too.”
“We’re nothing alike,” I say, and I mean it down to my last drop of blood. “You let Prester die.”
“Not me,” he says. “Sheryl. She could have called an ambulance. Maybe saved him. But she didn’t.”
I feel a real surge of bitter, electric rage. “You’re not just some god hovering overhead. You were there, or you were close. You could have stopped her. You could have saved him. And you didn’t.”
He tilts his head, and it looks like a praying mantis taking in its prey. “You should understand what I’m doing.”
On-screen, Gwen’s outline is moving. I note that in my peripheral vision, but I don’t focus on it. I want him to focus on me right now. If he’s telling me the truth, if he doesn’t intend me any harm . . . keeping him fixed on me will let Gwen move more freely.
“Your sister died,” I say. “I know that. You tried to save her.” He doesn’t answer. Doesn’t blink. “You never found the man who did that. I understand how that can make somebody—”
“Crazy?” he says. Too calmly.
“Desperate,” I say. Behind my back, I’m sliding my fingers up and down the pipe, trying to find anything to