Hard pass. I like my bachelor life too fucking much to give it up. The only chains I’d be down for are the ones that come with whips.”
“Why do you have to make everything so dirty?”
He lifts his shoulders in an it-is-what-it-is gesture. “That’s how I roll, man. What are you going to do about Charlie?”
“I can’t go back to her folks’. It must be war central right now, and my presence would just make everything worse.”
“What about your mom’s car?”
“Ah hell. I’d forgotten about that.”
Andreas grabs his jacket from the back of the highchair. “Come on. We’re going back, and now you have an excuse. I’ll drive your mom’s car, and you talk to Charlie.”
“Shit. That means I have to get her car keys first. Great.”
“Perfect. That should give everyone time to chill out back at Charlie’s.”
He heads for the front door like he’s about to step onto the field before a game, his shoulders squared and chin high. He said I don’t know defeat, but he’s the one who doesn’t believe in it.
CHARLIE
I’ve been lying in bed, crying my eyes out since Troy left with his mother. At least my parents are no longer shouting, but only because Mom kicked Dad out of the house. She asked for a divorce—no, shouted for one. Even the neighbors must have heard her.
Troy has called several times and sent a dozen messages. I’ve ignored them all. I’m not ready to deal with his betrayal face-to-face. I’m so torn about everything. Maybe Ben is right, and Troy was put in a terrible situation. But it changes nothing.
There’s a knock on the door, and then Ben pushes it open. “Charlie, are you feeling better?”
“Not yet.” I sit up in bed. “How are you?”
“I’m okay. At least now we know.”
“You’re handling this better than I am.”
“I think I accepted it a long time ago.” There’s a pause, and Ben seems guilty about something. “Troy is here. He wants to talk to you.”
“No.” My voice comes out in a desperate plea. “I can’t talk to him right now, Ben. You know that.”
“A-are you going to break up?”
“I’d like to know that too.” Troy comes in after Ben, and I feel like my heart stops beating for a second.
“You shouldn’t have come.”
“No, I had to, Charlie. I couldn’t just stay home because it’s killing me not knowing where we stand. So, I’ll ask you again. Are we breaking up?”
He pierces me with the saddest, most broken gaze I’ve ever seen on him, and it destroys me. I want to tell him that we can move past this, but I can’t form the words.
“I don’t think there’s any other way,” I reply through a choke.
Tears well up in my eyes. My heart squeezes so tight, I can’t breathe.
Troy remains stoic, frozen; the only glimpse of emotion I can see are in his anguished eyes. He clenches his jaw and then says tightly, “I’m not going to try to explain myself, or ask for your forgiveness. I know right now, nothing I say will make you feel better or change your mind. I’ll walk away and give you the space you need, but I’ll wait for you, Charlie. However long it takes, I will wait for you.”
“Troy—”
“No, don’t say anything. You can’t ask me to stop loving you. It won’t happen. You don’t need to move out. I’m going to stay with Andy until you’re ready for me to come home.”
I’m witnessing the boy I love with all my heart shatter in front of me, and I can’t bring myself to end his suffering. I’m frozen, powerless.
Troy turns to Ben and squeezes his shoulder. “Take care of your sister, buddy.”
He’s gone before I can get a word out.
It turns out, the song was right. We were meant to break.
47
CHARLIE
It’s been five days since I broke up with Troy, and I’m a complete wreck. Dad didn’t move out like I’d expected him to, but the situation at my folks’ is tense as hell. It’s gotten so bad that Tammara’s parents invited Ben to spend the week with them.
My heart is squeezed tight as I step foot into my house. Good on his word, Troy has moved out, and his absence is like a black hole in what used to be paradise to me.
Fred drove me—I couldn’t deal with Blake and his I-told-you-so stare. He sets my bags on the floor and asks, “Do you want me to bring your bed downstairs?”