some ways counterintuitive—every moment spent together was a moment bonding, literally and magically—but Veronyka needed to tell him what she knew about shadow magic so he could attempt to muster some kind of defense.
Admittedly, her own understanding of the subject was minimal, and even Morra had had nothing to offer on the prospect of teaching a non-shadowmage how to protect themselves, but Veronyka had to try. What she had with Tristan felt strangely territorial, as if she’d marked him as her own and he had no say in the matter. At least the bond between Veronyka and Val was something they both had power over, even if Val had cultivated and manipulated it without Veronyka’s knowledge.
Veronyka wondered if bonds often formed between close-knit Riders and mated pairs, but unless one of them was a shadowmage, neither ever became aware of it. To them their link would be an instinct, a feeling… a gut reaction, nothing more.
Determined that Tristan should have some control of their connection, Veronyka used the concept of the mental safe house—storing unwanted memories or feelings inside an imaginary box at the back of one’s mind—which she’d taught Tristan to use to keep his fear of fire in check, and built upon that idea.
But no matter how much Tristan practiced strengthening his mental barriers and blocking his mind, as soon as she touched him or looked into his eyes, the bond between them opened instantly.
Veronyka wondered if she was asking the impossible, if this was as hopeless and unnatural as a Rider attempting to block their bond with their phoenix.
But even if Veronyka couldn’t find a way to block their bond, she had to at least find a way to control it. And for the time being, the only way she knew how to do that was to control her relationship with Tristan. They had to avoid the things that triggered their link, from extended time alone together to eye contact and touch. All kinds of touch.
She could see—even without their bond—that the prospect of these rigid rules and physical barriers was not something Tristan relished either. In fact, the entire thing would have been devastating, if not for Tristan’s very real—and very recent—near-death experience. They had to take these precautions seriously, and their best comfort was to remind each other over and over again that these were temporary measures.
Just until the danger with Val passed and Veronyka’s mind became a safe space again.
Just until Veronyka got a hold on her magic. Then they’d be able to be themselves again.
Neither of them said the obvious thing, that they had no idea how to make those eventualities happen. Veronyka didn’t know if she’d ever be able to control her magic, and she couldn’t imagine a world in which she was safe from Val unless Val was no longer in that world at all. She might have deluded herself before, but now, knowing the truth? Val would never let someone as valuable as Veronyka go.
We could save lives, save the world. You and I together could change everything….
Did Val truly mean that? Did she still want them to be together, as she’d always claimed, even after everything that had passed between them? Or did she want to use Veronyka for some other purpose? Regardless, Val’s sudden silence in Veronyka’s mind—she hadn’t sensed even a whisper of Val’s presence since the relay race—felt like the calm before the storm, and she feared Val would turn up again at the worst possible time. Veronyka had to prepare herself.
The problem was, even without Val inside her head, Veronyka’s mind was a confusing, muddled place of late.
Veronyka Ashfire.
Every time her thoughts wandered in the direction of that birth certificate and what it meant, she redirected them with a savage jerk. Even if Veronyka wanted to reveal herself and embrace her bloodline, it wasn’t just about her. If she announced that she was an Ashfire, that act alone would push Val to do the same. They were bound by cause and effect, and the last thing Veronyka wanted was to add fuel to the fire of this impending war.
And if she did come forward… would anyone believe her? She had proof, but couldn’t such things be forged? Even if people did believe her… what would happen next? Was she supposed to stroll into Aura Nova and take a seat on the vacant throne? Or worse, would she be expected to fight her way to that position? There was no way the council would want some