conversational, as if she didn’t notice—or didn’t care—how rude Elliot was being. “Maybe he wants to be friends.”
Elliot snorted. “There are no friends for us here.”
“You could make friends,” Sparrow pointed out, her calm voice becoming more and more maddening to Elliot with every word she spoke.
“In case you didn’t hear, I betrayed all my friends, Sparrow. So now we have no one,” he said, fighting for composure, all while Sparrow’s eyes were wide and unseeing and filled with understanding well beyond her years. He turned away, continuing to pet Jax, but it was an automatic gesture, something to do with his hands to stop them from shaking. “I ruined everything—I hurt everyone, and Riella’s…” He trailed off, unable to finish.
When Elliot turned back around, Sparrow was standing close behind him. Her brow was furrowed, but after a moment’s consideration, she scooped up the cat from the ground—where it was twisting between her legs—and shoved it none too gently into Elliot’s chest.
Elliot scrambled to catch the creature as it mewled reproachfully and scrabbled with sharp claws against his tunic. He realized upon closer inspection that it was barely more than a kitten, and it was missing one of its legs as well as its ear and tail. His magic went out to the animal, calming it, and Jax released a slow, steady pulse of soothing heat.
“That’s Carrot,” Sparrow said, nodding at the cat. “She fought in the attack on the stronghold, brave as a mountain lion, and she lost her ear, her tail, and her leg—but she’s still here. I lost…” Sparrow swallowed, and for the first time that night, she looked uncertain. Vulnerable. “I lost Chirp, my best friend. But I’m still here. I can’t bring Chirp back, and I can’t change that he fought to protect me and died. But I can take care of Carrot. And Ash,” she added, gesturing to the pigeon that had been riding on her head, one of its wings gone, “and Lucky and Larry.” Behind her, the two dogs, similarly scarred and wounded as Carrot, ambled around as best they could.
“I can still do good things,” Sparrow continued. “No matter how much I miss Chirp. No matter how much I blame myself for what happened to him. Maybe, one day, the good things will make up for the bad things. If not out here,” she said, gesturing around them, “then maybe in here,” she finished, pointing to her chest.
Elliot bit his tongue. He wanted to rage at her that he hadn’t lost some bird, he’d lost his sister, but then he shot an apologetic look at Jax, whose expression was baleful. He sighed, staring down at the cat. There was something about this girl that had gotten under his skin… something about her words that made him second-guess himself.
“It’s not the same thing. Your friend, your Chip—”
“Chirp,” she corrected, her lips pursed. “What kinda name is Chip for a bird?”
What kinda name is Carrot for a cat? he wanted to say but didn’t. “Right—well, Chirp, he chose to fight for you, didn’t he? But Riella didn’t choose to be taken as a hostage. The Riders didn’t choose to give up information in the hopes of securing her release. I did all that. I’ve done so much damage, and there’s no fixing it. There’s no undoing it or making up for it.”
Sparrow considered this as Elliot bent to put Carrot into the tall grass. The dogs bounced over, biting and snapping and hoping for another playmate—but Carrot turned up her nose and batted the nearest pup away. Elliot watched, a smile tugging at the corner of his mouth. He had to admit that the animals lightened his dark mood. He’d almost forgotten what they were talking about when Sparrow finally spoke.
“Maybe you can’t undo it or fix it. But you hurt people,” she said, and Elliot’s chest tightened. Yes, he’d hurt people. He’d led soldiers to their doorstep. “You let your commander down. You made your friends sad.”
Elliot wasn’t sure he’d use the word “sad,” but then again, he did sense that the others didn’t hate him as much as they were disappointed in him. He’d betrayed their trust more than anything else. And he supposed that had made them sad.
“If you want to oversimplify it for the sake of your argument, sure,” he said with a sigh.
Sparrow ignored the sarcastic comment. “Then what you have to do is easy.”
“What?” Elliot asked with a laugh. The sound was rusty, as if he hadn’t