always needed, so they’d made it very clear that if Sev was going to be there anyway, he could hold the tray of tools while they applied fresh bandages or refill the water jug while they cleaned Kade’s stitches.
Kade lifted his head drowsily, and though his eyes were sunken and his skin chalky, he smiled, and Sev wanted to weep with relief.
“Barely,” Kade croaked, and Sev looked down at the mug in his hands. It smelled like broth, and as he lowered himself onto the stool by the bed, he held it out gingerly.
Kade looked apologetic—maybe even embarrassed—and tried to reach for it himself, but Sev waved him off. “Drink,” he ordered, and after another moment’s hesitation, Kade obeyed.
They sat like that for a time, Sev holding the mug out for Kade to take careful, measured sips. Sev tried not to stare, but he couldn’t help it. Warmth was spreading in his chest as if he were the one drinking the soup, making the hopelessness of the past few hours dissipate. Kade was okay, and with the proof of that sitting in bed before him, it was easier for Sev to deal with everything else.
“How did I get here?” Kade asked with a grimace. It was obvious that he was in discomfort, and that even the effort of swallowing soup was draining.
“I carried you,” Sev said simply, holding out the mug again. When Kade didn’t move to drink, Sev lowered it, meeting Kade’s shocked eyes.
“But—your shoulder,” he protested.
Sev gave him a steady look. “And?” Kade had no response, so Sev added, “I’d have carried you twice as far, for twice as long, with that crossbow bolt still in my shoulder if I had to.”
“Thank you,” Kade said after several heartbeats of silence, his eyes bright. Sev was uncomfortable with his gratitude, guilt gnawing on him from the inside as he put the mug onto the side table.
“Don’t,” Sev said, staring at his hands, which had become fists in his lap. “It was my fault. I’m…” He swallowed and blinked, his vision blurring as tears sprang to his eyes. “I am so sorry,” he choked out. He pressed his palms to his eyes. “I volunteered for this… this stupid mission,” he spat, pitching his voice low, though the rest of the tent was filled with the masking sounds of work and low conversation. “It’s because of me you got wounded in the first place.”
“It isn’t,” Kade argued, and Sev lowered his hands.
“It is,” he said firmly. “You said I shouldn’t, and you were right, but I wouldn’t listen. And now… we just burned our home to the ground.”
“Sev,” Kade said again, more forcefully now. He gripped Sev’s arm. “We didn’t burn anything down. And what happened here…” He paused, staring around the tent. He shook his head. “We saved so many lives by doing this—lives at the fishing villages and the farms of Runnet. I’m sorry that we weren’t able to save Hillsbridge, but it was worth the risk.”
“Worth your life?” Sev asked, voice agonized.
“Yes,” Kade said without hesitation. “This is why we came. Not to avoid the awfulness of what Rolan was doing, but to try to fight against it every step of the way. And we couldn’t do that safe inside his estate.”
Kade’s words calmed Sev, even though he didn’t fully agree. To Sev, none of this would have been worth it if he’d lost Kade, but as his mind slowly quieted, he became aware of the fact that his wrist was held loosely in Kade’s hand. Sev stared at the place where their skin touched. “It should have been me,” he said softly.
Kade shifted, sliding his palm against Sev’s. “No,” Kade said with a gentle squeeze, raw emotion in his voice. Sev looked up into his face, and Kade forced a smile. “You’re too skinny. That spear would have cut you in half.”
Sev gave a shaky laugh, wiping at the drying tears on his face with his arm. He squeezed Kade’s hand back, then, suddenly embarrassed, tried to draw it away—but Kade held fast.
“Wait—don’t let go,” he blurted, squeezing Sev’s hand, though his grip was weakened by medicine and blood loss.
Unable to speak around the lump in his throat, Sev just nodded and laced his fingers with Kade’s. “I won’t,” he said, thinking for a second about the animage prisoners—and quickly squashing the thought.
Kade eased back against his pillows. “I think I need to sleep,” he said drowsily, his eyes beginning to droop.