to trust, no one to care about—and no one to care about him, either.
That was probably part of what Trix had seen in him, what made her think Sev would be well suited to this kind of work. She’d been right then… but was she anymore?
Sev realized that he’d never actually “enjoyed” spying… not even the feeling it gave him to know he was helping. The thing that had always made it worth it for him had been having something, someone to fight for—Kade, and even Trix. They had given him some sense of purpose—an obligation, a duty. But surely there were other ways to do right in the world than this.
He veered back around slightly, finding a quiet place behind the horses’ paddock, out of sight of the camp. He needed their simple company right now, and as he settled down on a log, alone in the dark, he decided he also needed to get drunk. Good thing he already had two cups of ale. A head start.
It wasn’t long until the crack and snap of footsteps in the undergrowth told Sev he was about to be stumbled upon by some soldier out to empty his bladder.
Sev stilled, hoping he wouldn’t be noticed—but it wasn’t a soldier who rounded the nearest tree.
It was Kade.
Sev felt even more pathetic than before, sitting by himself on a log with a cup in each hand.
“What are you doing?” Kade asked, his voice puzzled. He picked his way over and stood before Sev. It was easier to see his features now, though the only light came from the moon shining dappled through the trees.
“Oh, just…,” Sev began, looking around before finally settling his gaze on his hands. “Having a drink.”
“I would’ve thought you’d had enough the other night,” Kade said, amusement in his voice.
Sev didn’t reply, and Kade seemed to sense that there was something bothering him.
“Are those both for you?” he asked, nodding down at the cups and breaking the silence that was stretching between them.
“I—no,” Sev said with a sigh. He looked up. “But I saw that you already had one. So.”
“So…,” Kade said, crossing the distance between them to find a seat on the log next to Sev, “you decided to come drink alone instead?”
He pried one of the cups from Sev’s grip and lifted it to drink, his eyes on the side of Sev’s face.
Sev stared straight ahead. “I… didn’t want to interrupt,” he said. He knew he didn’t have any right to jealousy—Kade wasn’t his. Not like that. They were just friends. But his jealousy extended even beyond the romantic, he realized. Seeing Kade and the other bondservant sitting together like that… it had been a strange reminder of his own time with Kade in Pyra: days spent with the animals, nights spent sitting together, talking with Trix.
“Interrupt what?” Kade asked.
“You and that… other bondservant.” Sev finally swallowed his pride and turned, meeting Kade’s gaze.
“Mia?” he asked, and Sev swore he could feel the way Kade tried to keep his voice neutral. “She’s the hostler’s daughter. We knew each other when I was stationed at Rolan’s estate before.”
Something unpleasant squirmed in Sev’s stomach. What did that mean—knew each other?
“How?” Sev blurted, and immediately regretted it.
“Pardon?” Kade asked, brow furrowed.
Sev took a drink from his cup, hating himself but determined to know all the same. “Mia—the hostler’s daughter. How did you know her?”
Kade’s confused expression cleared, frown lines smoothing as comprehension dawned. Sev was beginning to recognize the mask Kade wore when he didn’t want to reveal his feelings… when he was trying to hide something. He tossed a shoulder carelessly. “From working together.”
“Is that it?” Sev pressed.
“What else would there be?” Kade countered, his tone a bit defensive now.
Sev squeezed his eyes shut. Why couldn’t he just say it? Why couldn’t he ask Kade if he’d been with the girl romantically, and if he hadn’t, if he’d like to be with Sev romantically instead?
The problem was, Kade meant too much to Sev to risk the rejection. Not only was he the only person in this group of soldiers that Sev could trust, the only person who knew his secret, but he had saved Sev’s life in more ways than just the literal sense. He had challenged Sev to do better—to be better—and after everything that had happened, Kade was the only thing Sev could count on and cling to. And what if Sev had been misreading everything that had ever transpired between them? What if he confessed his