in a girly mass of hysteric tears crying over the fact that the situation now looked helpless, I pulled up my big girl pants and said,
“Well, knowing my luck, for all I know we could be off to find the fucking Wizard of Oz!” Trice shook his head a little with a grin playing at his lips as he made his way over to me.
“Then I guess that mak's ye Dorothy,” Trice said after patting me on the top of the head and proceeding to take the lead. To which I grumbled to myself in a childish voice,
“I guess that makes you Dorothy... whatever, tin man.” At which point Gryph and Vern looked at each other and said at the same time,
“A’m th’ lion!”
“I will claim the lion.” I scoffed a laugh before informing them,
“Okay, but why you're fighting over being the cowardly lion, I don't know… plus the scarecrow is the real hero,” I reminded them, making them both shout again at the same time that they wanted to claim the scarecrow. But I knew that this was just camaraderie to mask what was actually going on, which in truth was nothing more than a dire situation. Though none of us wanted to say that, because admitting it out loud would also mean admitting something far worse than just being lost…
It would mean a death was on our hands… or should I say,
A death on mine.
I don't know how long it was that we walked before it finally twigged on me to ask,
“So, how come you're not shifting, because no offence, wouldn't that get us there a lot quicker… wherever here is?” I muttered this last part to myself as it was hard to know where we were going, seeing as we didn’t know where we were to begin with!
“It wid, bit considering we dinnae ken where it is we are, I think tis best we save oor energy fur whin something bad happens 'n' nae offence, Dorothy, bit around ye something always bad happens,” Trice said, making me want to growl in return and ignore the extended way he said the name Dorothy due to his accent.
“Gee, thanks, and of course why would I take offence to that?” I muttered sarcastically making him grin down at me.
“So, any idea where we are?” I asked thinking this would be an important fact to know right now.
“No, as it isnae a place we've ever bin tae before, althoogh if I wis taw hazard a guess I wid say 'twas in one o' th' elemental realms,” Trice said, just before Gryph walked up beside us and added,
“You've git that right, as nowhere in Hell looks as nice as this place!”
“It's a jolly lot cleaner than some of the… oh darn it, please do continue, for I fear my explanation on the matter will come out as sounding rather droll and like my fellow brothers, I surely do not wish to offend you, my lady.” At this, Trice and Gryph burst out laughing when Vern smacked himself on the forehead in shame. Gryph then waited for him to catch up before slapping him on the back and telling him,
“Stop yer lollygaggin’, yer posh twat 'n' git a shifty oan before yer britches git any tighter 'n' squeeze aff yer bollocks completely, yer big pansy!”
“That’s hardly helpful now, is it?” Vern said in return after putting a hand on his hip before he could stop himself posing in the girly stance.
“Well, as lang as yer posh ass hasn’t forgotten how tae shoot a feckin arrow, yer still useful,” Gryph teased, making Vern cross his arms and quip,
“Charming, brother.” Gryph held out both sides of his tunic and pretended to curtsy, but with such a big bulking body of muscle it was more awkward than anything. Hence why I couldn’t help but giggle at the sight, granting me a wink from the big guy in return.
After this we continued to walk along the unique countryside and I had to confess, that after about an hour of navigating up and down hills my thighs were screaming at me and begging me to stop. Also I could have drunk a well dry and wished that I had asked for a water back at the tavern. Now, as for the three brothers, well they barely looked as if they had taken a leisurely stroll around someone's garden, despite the fact that together they were carrying an arsenal of weaponry strapped to their bodies and weren't exactly dressed