In the Heart of the Canyon - By Elisabeth Hyde Page 0,38
that JT had spiked the water, and this was just a ruse to get them all drunk this afternoon so he didn’t have to cook them dinner tonight. Peter didn’t like it when things got too serious. Of course, he didn’t like it when people like Mitchell thought they knew more than the guides, who’d only been down the river like four hundred times between the three of them. And he didn’t like it when people couldn’t apologize for their errors in judgment. He thought a well-timed apology from Mitchell would have done a lot to lessen the tension on the beach. But Mitchell didn’t want to talk to anybody.
Peter wasn’t one to gossip, but he wasn’t one to keep 100 percent of his thoughts to himself, either. And that afternoon in the paddle boat, he let it slip that he hoped Mitchell would chill out. “No pun intended,” he added.
“Did you hear he’s writing a book?” Jill said.
“About what?” asked Evelyn.
“Us,” said Peter. “Ha ha! Just kidding,” he told Mark, who looked alarmed.
Susan said, “He told me this trip was a big disappointment to him because he wasn’t able to do it in a wooden dory.”
“What’s so great about wooden dories?” said Peter.
“It’s more like Powell,” said Evelyn.
“And who’s this Powell dude again?”
There were groans all around. But nobody explained.
“My problem is that he’s setting a bad example,” said Jill. “I’m trying to get the boys to do what the guides say, and then Mitchell does exactly the opposite. Like not wearing a wet shirt for the hike.”
“I wonder what he’s writing about,” said Amy. “Every time I look, he’s writing in one of those notebooks.”
“Or taking pictures,” said Susan, a comment that elicited more groans, and threats to throw the camera in the river.
“Come on, people,” said Abo. “The guy simply misjudged the heat today.”
“No, he did not!” Jill exclaimed. “He really truly thought he knew better. He did the same thing on the hike this morning! We get to the stream, and JT tells him to keep his boots on, says you can protect your boots or you can protect your feet, and what does Mitchell do? He takes them off! ‘They’re two-hundred-dollar boots,’ he tells JT.”
“Be glad you’re not Lena,” Peter said.
“I would never let myself be bossed around like that,” Amy declared.
“Good for you, honey,” said Susan.
“Easy forward,” said Abo, and they stroked with the current.
“Who was the worst passenger you ever had?” Peter asked.
Abo chuckled.
“Come on,” said Peter.
“Fine,” said Abo. “Are you ready for a long story? Because this is a really long story. But its a good story. This guy he had a bunch of Boy Scouts, and you know how you all got an equipment list before the trip? Well, he told his Boy Scouts it was all bunk, temperatures wouldn’t drop below one hundred so forget the polypro, forget the fleece, forget the rain gear even. Then they get down here, and its monsoon season.”
“When’s that?” asked Evelyn.
“Late July Every day it rains. Every day these boys get wet. Every day we’re looking at eight hypothermic Eagle Scouts. We guides, we’re pulling out every piece of clothing we have, just to keep these kids dry. Then we come up on Bedrock, where there’s this YOOGE rock that splits the river, and you have to stay to the right because if you go left you’re dead, and who knows what happened, but one of the boats misses the cut and they postage-stamp right up against the rock and these four kids disappear into the water. So! Now we have four boys with hypothermia, and when we get everyone ashore, we tell the boys to strip down and get into sleeping bags together. At which point the scout leader goes totally apoplectic, accuses us of trying to turn his boys into fags—his word, my apologies—and when we get the sleeping bags out anyway, he takes them all and dumps them in the river so they’re soaking wet and no good whatsoever.”
“What happened to the kids?” asked Jill.
“This is what’s so rich. They all warm up! On their own! So the scout leader is now completely convinced that he’s Mr. Outward Bound and we’re John Wayne Gacy. I thought the trip would never end.”
“Wow,” said Peter.
“Yeah wow,” said Abo.
“I guess Mitchell isn’t so bad,” said Peter.
“Mitchell’s nothing,” Abo declared. “So I want you guys to be nice to him.”
“Did you hear that?” Peter told Jill and Susan. “Be nice to Mitchell.”