I never had to face my feelings. When you quit and I couldn’t get a hold of you, it was more than panic. My world crashed. I hit the first plane I could catch, and when I came face to face with you, my body lit up like a firecracker. Lust, Becca, hard and fast. I argued with myself so hard. You were someone I couldn’t screw with because if I lost you, I wouldn’t recover.”
“I think you lost that particular battle.”
He grinned his cheekiest grin. “I would lose a thousand battles if it meant I get to taste you again.”
She felt her cheeks warm. She didn’t normally blush at anything. Fucking asshole.
“When I pushed you and you pushed back, I tried again to stay away, to push the lust down, but it wouldn’t go away. I wanted you. You wanted me too. I saw it, but you were better at controlling it than I was.”
“Because I don’t want to get hurt, Dimitri.”
“I know.” He reached over and cupped her cheek. “You’re the last person I want to hurt, Krasivaya.”
“Is that why you ran when you realized how I felt?”
She studied the myriad of emotions flicking in his eyes, making them darken to an almost gray color.
He gave her that shy smile again. “For a writer, I’m having the hardest time putting this into words. Yes, I ran from it. I’d already decided I wanted to see where things with us could go, but seeing your feelings right there in front of me…it scared me. I knew we could both get hurt so badly if I couldn’t be the man you deserved. So, I ran. I needed time to think, to talk to my dad.”
“Your dad?”
Dimitri nodded. “Yeah, the old man is the only person whose advice I wanted. He and I talked for a long time. I told him all about you, about how much I love you, but I was afraid that it wasn’t the forever kind of love I write about, and at the same time, I was terrified it was that kind of love. I wanted to know how he knew Mama was his.”
“What did your dad say?” Becca had heard all about the whirlwind romance of his parents. It was what had inspired him to write in that particular genre.
“He asked me a simple question. Basically, how would I feel if I lost you?”
Becca worried her bottom lip as she waited for his answer. She was a little excited, but more nervous to hear how he felt. Part of her dreaded it, part of her hoped, but it was a tiny part.
“I gave it some serious thought.” His thumb rubbed gently against her cheek. “I can’t imagine a world without you in it. It nearly robbed me of breath imagining never hearing your voice or teasing you until you get riled enough to give me that sass of yours. You’re the most important person in my world, Rebecca. I do love you, and I want you here with me until my dying day. So, you have to say yes, Becca. You have to.”
“Say yes?”
“To us. I want you to give us a chance. To give our love the chance to be the epic kind of love. The Notebook kind of love. Will you do that?”
Asshole had to bring her favorite movie into it, didn’t he? How was she supposed to answer that?
“I don’t know, Dimitri. How can I trust you with everything I know about you?”
“You don’t know everything about me.” He leaned forward and kissed her, so softly his lips felt barely there. “And you need to know everything before you agree.” He sat back, and her trepidation escalated.
“I know all about your finicky stomach and its epic blowouts. What else is there?”
He laughed, but it was a little forced. Nervousness shone in his eyes. What the hell did he have to be nervous about?
“After we got back from the signing room and you were asleep, I went out to get us food and called Nik. I thought he might have some ideas of how I could help you because of Lily.”
“Lily?” Why would anything having to do with his brother’s fiancée help her?
“Lily has an extreme fear of being touched. She has panic attacks, like you do, when someone tries to get near her.”
“How does that work with the two of them?”
“It took Nikoli a long time to get her to trust him enough to relax her guard around him, to let him