Healing Hearts (New Hope Falls #6) - Kimberly Rae Jordan Page 0,98

in the bag, but she needed it. In years to come, she wanted to have memories of this time. Not because she was a sucker for emotional pain, but because she hoped that she could look back and see how far she and Bryson had come. And how God had been with them through yet another horrible time in their lives.

During her growing up years, she’d begun to keep a journal, pouring onto its pages all the things she hadn’t felt like she could tell anyone else—even Nana. Of course, now, looking back, she realized that she could have told Nana about her crushes and her hopes and dreams, and the woman never would have dismissed any of it.

There had been times when she was in Texas that she had wished she could have written down her feelings. But by then, Sophia had known that should those written words fall into the wrong hands, it would have been rough going for her. So she had kept everything bottled up inside, only once again taking up journaling when the therapist she’d met with a few times before leaving Texas, had suggested it might help her.

But this particular journal was more than just a place for her to record her feelings. She also used it to keep track of her income and expenses. It was her least favorite thing to do, but also one of the most important since she didn’t want to get behind on her bills.

Opening her journal, she decided to focus on her feelings. She slid the pen from the spiral binding and turned to the next blank page. Sometimes she had to mull over what she wanted to write, but not that night.

His eyes are closed, but is he just sleeping? Is he still here with me? Or is he lost to the disease that’s waging war on his body? His stillness worries me.

Ryker’s not here to reassure me, and I miss that. I miss him. And I know that Bryson does, too, even though he’s not alert enough most of the time to voice that.

But I need to do this on my own—just the two of us like it’s been from the very start. Even when we weren’t together, it was the two of us against the world. Bryson deserves more than I can give him, but no one deserves to be drawn into the mess our lives are.

I’ll be so glad to get past this. I want to count down the days until we’re home again, but no one can tell me when that will be. Even Ryker hasn’t given me a definite date, and I’m pretty sure that he would if he could.

I just need to remember that in spite of everything going on right now, I’m doing okay. We’re doing okay. Things could be a whole lot worse than they are. So much worse.

As her thoughts began to circle around Ryker, she stopped writing and stared out at the lights that had begun to come on in the buildings around the hospital. She’d already written plenty about her thoughts and feelings for the man, so it seemed like there was nothing more to say…except her heart seemed to overflow with emotions.

Before she could begin to write anything more, the door opened behind her. She glanced over to see one of the nurses walk in. Sophia closed her journal as the nurse approached her.

“Are you doing okay, darlin’?” The middle-aged African American nurse gave her a look of concern.

“I’m alright,” Sophia assured her.

The woman had become one of her favorites among Bryson’s nurses. Maybe it was because she reminded Sophia of Nana with her warm and affectionate nature.

“I know this isn’t much, but you need to keep your strength up,” she said as she set a couple of items on the table.

Sophia glanced at them, surprised to see a sandwich sealed in a plastic packaging and a container of milk. Looking up at the nurse, she said, “Thank you.”

“You need to eat. Bryson needs his mama strong.”

“I know,” Sophia said with a bob of her head. “I just don’t have much of an appetite these days.”

“I understand that, but you already look like you’re fading away.” The nurse held up her hands, then grinned as she lowered them to pat her ample midriff. “I know. I know. I shouldn’t be commenting on a person’s body. But seriously, take care of yourself.”

“I’ll try.” Sophia’s hunger grew when faced with food, overcoming even the anxiety that had