Healing Hearts (New Hope Falls #6) - Kimberly Rae Jordan Page 0,66

had been his plan to avoid being around children—especially young ones—and yet, in an effort to help his friend, he’d ended up with two of them in his life.

He was sure his parents would suggest that perhaps God was trying to say something to him, but he kind of doubted that. Why would God care where he worked or who he spent his time with…or without? Would God really care if he didn’t practice medicine? Would He care if Ryker chose to not surround himself with children like he had originally planned?

If God hadn’t cared enough to protect the children in the refugee camp, Ryker had a hard time believing that He cared much about the decisions Ryker had made in his life in recent years. Not that he’d say anything of the sort to his family. Silas might listen and try to reason a bit with him. Callie, however, would just flat out tell him he was stupid.

He’d never let on to Michael that he had once been an active Christian, attending church regularly and doing all he could to encourage others in their faith. But since the attack, he’d felt dead inside. It was the only way he’d been able to function.

Although his family would surely say he wasn’t functioning as long as he was wasting his time mowing grass and chopping down trees. And not going to therapy.

“You okay, dude?”

Ryker looked up from his pizza. “What?”

“You seem distracted. What’s going on?”

What was going on? Ryker didn’t quite know how to handle the distractions he was dealing with. His dead emotions had been slowly coming back to life—starting the moment he’d held Vivianne in his arms.

The love he’d felt for his family had always been there, but it had felt muted while everything else had felt dead. But now, those dead emotions were starting to press up through the rubble of his life like fresh green shoots.

A part of him wanted to treat those green shoots like he did weeds that found their way up through the cracks in sidewalks or wood chips in a garden. Yank them out and throw them away.

“Just…stuff.” Ryker wanted to confide in Michael, needing to unload everything without having to deal with all the input that would come from doing that with his family. But he wouldn’t. It would require too much explanation and would likely change the nature of their friendship and work relationship.

“Women stuff?” Michael asked.

Ryker chuckled. “Nope. At least not in the way you’re referencing.”

“I feel bad that you’ve had to deal with all my stuff, but I’m not offering to do the same for you.”

“You don’t have to worry about that. I’m more than happy to help you out.”

“I’d be happy to help you out too,” Michael said. “Might help to distract me from my stuff.”

“Most of my stuff is just related to my family. I’m sure you understand after what you’ve gone through with Taylor. My sister is being testy, and my mom is trying to run my life.”

“Has your sister kept a pregnancy secret and dropped a baby in your lap yet?”

That made Ryker laugh again. “You definitely win the “best” sister award, I do have to say, but Callie can be a royal pain. She’s been that way since birth, as best as I can remember.”

“How old were you when she was born?”

“Three. Until then, my older brother and I lived in sibling bliss, having no clue about the terror that was going to be unleashed in our lives when Mom and Dad decided to have a third child. I think Silas was especially taken off-guard since he’d had such a wonderful experience welcoming me into his life.”

Michael’s brows lifted at that. “I have a feeling he might have a slightly different feeling about that.”

“Maybe,” Ryker agreed with a laugh. “But I still think Silas would say I’m his favorite sibling.”

“I’ve been wondering what would have happened if there had been more than just the two of us. If there had been another sibling my sister could have chosen to give Vivianne to.”

“Do you think she would have chosen them over you?”

Michael shrugged. “If they could read and deal with their life without her help, probably.”

“I will say this now, and I’ll say it every day from here on out: Vivianne is lucky to have you as her dad. There is more to parenting than being able to read. Don’t sell yourself short because you struggle in one area. I would say this…Vivianne is better