Healing Hearts (New Hope Falls #6) - Kimberly Rae Jordan Page 0,103

spend a few minutes with him, thinking that it might put his mind at ease.”

“You said yes.”

“Yeah,” Ryker said. “Yeah, I did. Once the little guy got past his fear, he sort of attached himself to me.”

Nick smiled at that, the skin at the corners of his eyes crinkling. “Children have always been drawn to you.”

“Well, one day there was an incident when I heard Bryson screaming, and I froze. Not for long, but long enough that if the scream had been because he was hurt, my hesitancy could have made a big difference.”

“But he was okay?” Nick asked.

“That time,” Ryker said with a nod. “But then last Saturday, I dropped by the house to help Sophia with the yard, and Bryson was sick. Seriously ill. We got him to the ER, then they transferred him to PNWC.”

“I bet that was difficult for you,” Nick observed.

Frowning, Ryker considered his words. “Actually, it wasn’t as difficult as I’d always imagined it would be to be back in that atmosphere.”

“So you’ve been with him at the hospital?”

“Yeah. Well, I was. I spent a couple of days going back and forth between New Hope for my job and the hospital. Sophia told me to take a break, so I haven’t been there since Wednesday. I’m going back after this time with you, though.”

“So why are you here?” Nick asked again.

Ryker sighed. “I’m not entirely sure. I’m still having the nightmares. I’m still not comfortable with the idea of a child’s care resting in my hands. But Bryson and Sophia…”

“Where’s Bryson’s dad?”

“Dead.” Ryker considered sharing his suspicions about Sophia’s past. Then, knowing that Nick wouldn’t tell anyone, he decided to go ahead with it as her story factored into a lot of his conflicted feelings.

When he was done, Nick looked at him for a moment then said, “Do you have feelings for Sophia?”

Ryker let out a long exhale. “Yeah, I think I do. I didn’t expect that at all, but the more time I’ve spent with her and Bryson, the more I’ve begun to feel love for both of them.”

“It’s not just Bryson, is it?” Nick asked.

He didn’t even have to think twice before shaking his head. “No. It’s true that I began to spend more time with them because of Bryson, but in doing so, I began to get to know Sophia better. It’s just…unexpected.”

“Why is that?”

“I don’t know. Maybe it’s just that she’s so different from Lydia. I always thought I wanted a woman as devoted to a career as I was, but that’s not Sophia. Her devotion is to her son, and I find myself admiring her for that. She looks fragile, but I’ve seen that she has strength within her, and yeah… I’m drawn to that too.”

“How do you think she feels?”

“If I’m right about her past, my guess is she’s not interested in a relationship.”

“So what does that mean for you?”

Ryker shrugged. “I’m not in a hurry. I know I still have work to do on myself, and maybe that’s why I’m here again.”

“Maybe?” Nick asked with an arched brow.

“Yeah. Maybe there’s no maybe about it. I want to be the best version of myself for her and Bryson, and I know that that starts with coming to terms with what happened in Syria.”

Nick nodded. “I wasn’t surprised when you stopped coming. You’d been struggling with the idea of getting past the events of that day when so many were still suffering. Parents who had lost children. Children who had lost parents. You’ll never forget what happened to you on that day, Ryker. You know that. But allowing yourself to continue to suffer won’t change anything for any of those who suffered unimaginable loss.”

He knew that Nick was right. He’d known that even back then, but it still hadn’t felt right to put that time behind him and move forward. And yet, there were moments when all he wanted was to forget what had happened. The conflicting feelings made his head spin at times.

“You were spared, Ryker. Not all of your medical team were. But you choosing to suffer won’t bring them back. It won’t change what happened that day.” The man leaned forward, his brow furrowed. “You know what this is. We’ve talked about it at length. The guilt you feel over surviving that day, for struggling with the feelings of helplessness, for the lives you weren’t able to save, it’s time to let that go.”

Ryker closed his eyes and sank further into the chair. Since that day,