Alexandria poked her head into Lillian’s room and noted that she was still sleeping soundly before she moved into the sewing room to alter her dress. It was one of her favorites; one she had always felt a little more confident in. Even this dress had elicited no response from her husband; his lack of response had made her realize that wedded bliss was not in her future. She had determined to be the best mother and to manage her house hold to the best of her ability and to be content with that. She would expect nothing from her husband therefore ensuring that she would be immune to being hurt by him or any man. It sounded good in theory but the pain that seemed to be perpetually below the surface mocked her new resolution as though reminding her that she had already failed yet again.
She had just finished sewing the last tuck into her dress when Millie tapped on the doorframe and entered the room.
“Alexandria, did you pick up the list I gave you on your last trip to town? I can’t seem to find the sugar,” the woman watched her expectantly. Alexandria closed her eyes and blew out a frustrated breath. She had tucked the list into her pocket and then promptly forgotten it when she started selecting material for Lilly some new dresses.
“I forgot them, Millie; I’m sorry. I’ll go find Eli and arrange to go to town,” Alexandria promised and she stood and went to search out her husband.
She found him and several men talking just outside the barn. She approached cautiously. She had asked him for little since their marriage and had spoken to him little more than necessary. She had attempted to establish lines of communication by asking him questions about how the ranch worked, but he had curtly reminded her that the house was her domain. She had given up after that and dreaded approaching him now.
“Eli,” she called cautiously.
He turned to her in surprise.
“Is something wrong?” he frowned down at her.
“I forgot several necessary supplies on my last trip to town and I need to go for them,” she announced; she was trying hard to keep her shoulders straight and chin high. If he would let her go to town by herself she could take care of it without bothering him; he refused however.
“Alexandria, this is a busy, working ranch and I can’t run off to town every few days. You need to ask Millie to show you how to make a complete list and …” Elijah stopped short when he realized that the men were watching the whole exchange and that Alexandria stood, head bent as though defeated. Elijah rubbed his hands over his face. She had made a mistake. Everyone made mistakes, himself included and his marriage to Alexandria the biggest of those.
He turned to the men. He could not be away from the ranch this afternoon; he would have to ask one of them to escort her. He eyed Sparky who was watching him; jaw clenched and anger radiating from his intense gaze. Elijah had already figured out that the young man was sweet on his wife. Russ refused to meet Elijah’s gaze and Nick actually looked rather amused by the whole exchange. Elijah, not certain that he completely trusted the man, kept a close eye on that one. His gaze landed on Jonathon, the only one whose expression remained impassive, nothing in his demeanor suggesting that he was wondering if Elijah knew that his wife was afraid of him.
“Jonathon, can you escort her please? I’m not comfortable with her making the trip alone.”
“Sure thing, boss, no problem,” Jonathon assured him before he turned to enter the barn.
When Elijah turned back to his wife it was to find her already half way across the yard. He excused himself and followed her. He caught up with her just inside the house where she was part way up the stairs.
“Alexandria,” he called and watched as she turned to face him; her expression was cautious. “I’m sorry I snapped at you. You’re just a child, you’ll get the hang of it,” he intended his statement to be helpful.
“A child?” Alexandria’s smile was brittle, “A child to raise your child; isn’t that ironic?” Alexandria turned, her back ram rod straight and continued up the stairs. Elijah propped his fist on the banister and dropped his head to his fist. What a mess he had made.