A Headstrong Woman - By Michelle Maness Page 0,106
and Alexandria feel terrible if you did.”
“Know her that well already?” Ted teased.
“Actually, pretty well,” Jonathon informed his brother.
“Jonathon it’s your wedding night no woman wants…”
“Ted listen I…don’t let Alexandria know you know this but our marriage is one of convenience. I love her, make no mistake about that but she married me to keep from losing this place.”
“Are you crazy? Do you know how many girls at home have shed buckets of tears over you leaving?”
“I love her, Ted.”
“You’re crazy,” Ted was shaking his head as they started back into the house.
“Maybe,” Jonathon conceded with a wide smile. He’d always welcomed a challenge but this might well prove to be more of a challenge than he was up to. After placing his trunks in a corner, Jonathon helped Alexandria get Lilly to bed and saw his brother settled into his room.
***
Alexandria pulled the hair combs from her hair and with trembling hands began brushing her long locks. She had changed into her nightgown and dressing gown while Jonathon was seeing his brother settled and now anxiously awaited his return. This would have been a lot easier if she’d had more time to prepare herself, she mused. No, on second thought less time to ruminate the matter was better, she decided. A light knock sounded on the door and Alexandria stood to open it.
“You don’t have to knock,” she chastised.
“In the future I probably won’t,” he told her.
Alexandria returned to her dressing table and picked up her brush, though her attention remained on Jonathon’s reflection in the mirror rather than her own. He had removed his shirt and she found herself admiring his broad shoulders and well-muscled back and chest. He was an attractive man, she admitted to herself and he was her husband. Jonathon sat on the edge of the bed to remove his boots and Alexandria watched the muscles work in his shoulders. Jonathon stood and turned and Alexandria quickly shifted her attention to brushing her hair. Jonathon came to stand behind her and took the brush from her to complete the task.
“You have your mom’s curls but your dad’s hair color,” he commented. “It makes a nice combination.”
“I always wanted Mom’s hair color,” she admitted.
“I think we always want whatever we don’t have; it’s the human condition.”
“Maybe you’re right,” she mused.
“Alexandria, you were put on the spot earlier, if you want me to sleep somewhere else I will,” he offered.
Alexandria froze; did he want to sleep elsewhere? Her heart hammered in her chest and her stomach churned; she felt dizzy. Had he decided he wasn’t attracted to her after all?
“Did you hear me, Alexandria?”
She opened her mouth to respond but couldn’t.
“I understand,” he said and turned to leave.
Alexandria jumped to her feet. “Wait!” she called.
Jonathon turned to her.
“Don’t go, please, I don’t want to spend another wedding night alone,” she managed despite the fear of rejection her that churned through her veins.
Jonathon came to stand in front of her and gazed into her upturned face. Her comment told him a lot about her marriage to Elijah and the vulnerability that cloaked her made his heart melt. How was it possible for such a remarkable woman to be unaware of her beauty? He frowned when the full impact of her words hit.
“You spent your wedding night alone?” he asked her and watched misery fill her eyes as she nodded. “Did you ever…your relationship with Elijah…”
“He never touched me until the night before he died and by then I was so confused….” Alexandria let her sentence trail and wondered what Jonathon was thinking.
Jonathon recalled her reaction to several of the men’s bawdy jokes, her reaction to his kiss, and other small things that now made more sense. He also realized that her already low opinion of herself had only been confirmed by Eli’s lack of interest in her and felt his heart break a little.
“You’re shaking,” he commented as he rubbed his hands up and down her arms.
“I’m nervous, not scared but nervous,” she admitted. “I want you to stay,” she felt heat climb into her cheeks, “and you don’t have to…that is I want…”
“What, Alexandria? You don’t have to do anything you aren’t ready for,” he reassured her.
Alexandria frowned in frustration; she wished that it wasn’t so hard for her to express herself on this subject. “I am ready, I’m just…nervous.” She forced herself to meet his gaze; she knew that her face had to be as red as the roses in the wall paper.