The Havoc We Wreak - Becca Steele Page 0,49
it—I guess I just wondered why you’d choose that.”
“It’s nothing sinister. You, ah, come across as a headstrong young woman. Not that there’s anything wrong with that; it’s an admirable trait in fact,” he hurried to add. “I couldn’t help but feel that your—” He coughed. “—way of handling things had the potential to land you in hot water. I spoke to one of my security team about discreet self-defence items suitable for carrying around day-to-day, and he suggested the kubotan. It was merely something I thought would be helpful to have as a precaution, although, of course, I’m hopeful that you would never need to use it.”
“Oh. Well, thanks.”
A small smile played across his lips, as he repeated the words he’d written on the gift note. “Stay safe.”
“I’ll try.” I shrugged, pulling a face, and he chuckled.
“That’s all I can ask. Now, was that all, or shall we play one of these games?”
“Actually, Dad, there’s something I need to talk to you about. In private.” Caiden straightened up next to me. Was this about his mum? I was guessing so, if he didn’t want Weston to be a part of it.
Weston raised a brow, and I knew it was up to me to distract him as Arlo nodded and stood, murmuring, “Let’s go to my office.”
“West? You wanna play a game of cards?”
I followed my dad into his office and closed the door behind us. He took a seat at his desk and indicated towards the chair that sat perpendicular to it. Leaning on his desk, he steepled his fingers, assessing me with his gaze. “What is it?”
This was going to be so fucking awkward. “I want to tell Weston the truth about Mum’s death.”
He reared back in shock, clearly not expecting me to say those words.
“W-why?” he stammered. He was never flustered, and it unnerved me.
“Because he deserves to know the truth. Because I’m fucking sick of carrying around this huge secret all the time. It’s killing me. All this fucking guilt? I feel like I’m drowning.”
At my admission, his gaze cleared. “Caiden? You know you don’t have anything to feel guilty about. Your mother…she wasn’t well. None of this is your fault. You couldn’t have stopped it happening. She was determined.” He dropped his head into his hands, his voice coming out muffled. “I’ve been a terrible father, haven’t I? I should never have—” He cut himself off and raised his remorseful gaze to mine.
“Yeah.” Fuck it, I was going to be honest. If there’s one thing I’d learned from my girlfriend, it was that honesty was usually the best policy. “I hated you, you know. When you started sneaking around with Christine. Mum got worse and worse, and you were never there. She was here, making excuses to come over, taunting Mum and throwing your affair in her face.”
“She what?” he whispered hoarsely, his face creasing with anguish. “Why didn’t you say anything?”
“Would you have listened?”
He closed his eyes, pinching his brow. “No, probably not. I was…blinded. I have no excuses, Caiden. Your mother and I weren’t getting along. She was ill, and although I paid for the best psychiatrists, nothing seemed to help her. Christine came along and swept me off my feet. She was beautiful, and full of life, and told me everything I wanted and needed to hear.”
“You abandoned Mum when she needed you most! Abandoned us!” I roared, slamming my hand down on his desk. Fuck, that hurt.
He flinched. “I know. If I could take it all back I would. I did everything wrong. I know I did.” His voice grew quieter, his expression defeated. “I know you’ll never forgive me. But I hope we can rebuild our relationship. I’m trying, here, Caiden, I really am. What can I do to make it up to you?”
My anger dulled to a simmer as I took in the expression on his face. Yeah, he’d done a lot of things wrong. Saying you could forgive someone might be easy, but in reality, to actually forgive? That was one of the hardest fucking things to do. I honestly didn’t know if I could forgive him for all of it, but I did know that I wanted to move past it. I wanted to mend our relationship, and he was trying. The biggest workaholic I knew was making time for his sons, and that was huge for him.
“Leave Christine, for a start,” I muttered.
“What was that?”
“You heard me.”
He sighed heavily. “My relationship with Christine isn’t up for