Have Mercy - Christina Lee Page 0,51

Ainsley and Dr. Barnes left me feeling all sort of things I couldn’t put my finger on right then. He was grooming Mercy, and it was… I didn’t know how else to describe it except to say it was beautiful. How careful he was with him, and sort of uncertain. I had a sneaking suspicion Dr. Barnes knew Julian needed that time with the horse and had come up with a plan that included helping both Ainsley and him.

She used to ask us to help Ainsley with little tasks at the beginning of her work with our daughter, to help her feel more comfortable. But it also felt like we were working together toward a common goal, bringing us closer as a family in the process.

“What are you up to?” I asked Ainsley and Julian, looking down at the newspaper Sienna had no doubt spread across the table so that Ainsley could play with a new makeup set she’d received from Sienna’s mother. Ainsley loved playing with her dolls and plastic ponies too, so the glittery set was just an added bonus, if a bit messy.

“A tutorial, apparently.” Julian smirked, watching her dab some color on the dolls and horses with a small brush. And given how rosy Sienna’s cheeks looked as she poured them glasses of iced tea at the counter, Ainsley had worked her makeup magic on her mother as well.

I helped dole out the iced tea, then poured myself some for good measure.

“Want me to paint your nails?” Ainsley asked Julian, reaching for a six-pack of colors that came with the set.

I could see Sienna stiffen in my side view. “Honey, I’m sure Julian doesn’t want to—”

“Sure,” he replied, and Sienna’s eyes widened a fraction. But he ignored her surprised expression and turned his attention to the palette of colors Ainsley was offering. “What color, do you think?”

“Daddy doesn’t let me put makeup on him,” Ainsley said in a quiet voice, lifting each bottle to decide on a color.

“Everyone has their own comfort level,” he said without looking at me. But I could feel Sienna’s gaze burning into me. I did turn Ainsley down in the past because I didn’t want to add any more fuel to the fire, but I saw now that it was just me not being brave or comfortable enough. Which was silly, because it was only makeup. Still, around here that would be enough to send off more alarm bells.

“So I guess boys…” Ainsley began, second-guessing her decision, and I felt like shit about it.

“Can like colors and pretty things too, if they want. How boring would it be if everything was black and white and gray all the time,” he said, then leaned closer conspiratorially. “Like your daddy’s hats and shirts.”

She giggled, and there was nothing quite as perfect as my child’s laughter—except maybe Julian’s smile. Fuck, where had that come from?

“Funny,” I deadpanned, then looked deliberately at his white T-shirt. “You’re not much better than me.”

“My point exactly,” he said. “So let’s go for the sparkly purple.”

As I sipped my iced tea, I watched Julian hold completely still, no jiggling knee in sight, letting Ainsley do her thing. Sienna still seemed a bit uptight about the whole idea, and I wasn’t sure if it was for the same reasons as me. I wished we could finally let down our guard on this one thing. It was certain to send the wrong message to Ainsley, the exact opposite of what I’d hoped for.

“Make sure not to get too much around his cuticles,” Sienna coached our daughter, and it helped me relax a bit more. Until I glanced up at Julian and saw him biting his lip in concentration.

Damn, that mouth of his.

What would Sienna think if she knew I’d made out with her cousin? Pushed him against the wall and kissed him soundly. And I wanted to do more too. Like stick my hand down his pants and make him come with my fist. But I’d had the sense to leave when I did.

I reached down to scratch Phoebe behind the ears. This was so not the time to be thinking about this shit. Not when he was so close, I could’ve easily reached out and touched him. When his legs shifted under the table, his foot rubbing against mine, it felt purposeful. My breath hitched, and when I glanced in his direction again, his cheeks were tinged pink.

Christ, it sucked to walk around with a boner all the time and