signature onto it and flicks it into his out-tray without a glance. He has been in a weird mood this afternoon.
I steeple my fingers and commence the Staring Game. It takes about three minutes but he eventually heaves a sigh and locks his screen. We stare so deep into each other’s eyes we join each other in a dark 3-D computer realm; nothing but green gridlines and silence.
“So. Nervous?”
“Why would I be?”
“Your big date, Shortcake. You haven’t had one in a while. As long as I’ve known you, I think.” He indicates quotation marks with his fingers at big date. He’s positive it’s all a lie.
“I’m way too picky.”
He steeples his fingers so hard it looks painful. “Really.”
“Such a complete drought of eligible men here.”
“That’s not true.”
“You’re searching for your own eligible bachelor?”
“I—no—shut up.”
“You’re right.” I drop my eyes to his mouth for a split second. “I’ve finally found someone in this godforsaken place. The man of my dreams.” I raise my eyebrow meaningfully.
He makes the connection to our early-morning conversation seamlessly. “So your dream was definitely about someone you work with.”
“Yes. He’s leaving B&G very soon, so maybe I need to make a move.”
“You’re sure about it.”
“Yes.” I can’t remember the last time he has blinked his eyes. They are black and scary.
“You’ve got your serial killer eyes on again.” I stand and take my proposal from him. “I’ll get you a copy for Fat Little Dick. Don’t screw this up for me, Joshua. You’ve got no concept of how to build a team. Leave this to the expert.”
When I return he’s a little less dark looking, but his hair is messed up. He takes the document, which I have stamped COPY.
He looks at the document, and I can see the exact moment he has his idea. It’s the sharp pause that a fox makes as it mooches past the unlatched gate of a henhouse. He looks up at me, his eyes glittering. He bites his bottom lip and hesitates.
“Whatever you’re thinking, don’t.”
He takes a pen and writes something across the bottom. I try to see, but he stands and holds it so high a corner touches the ceiling. I can’t risk standing on tiptoes in this dress.
“How could I possibly resist?” He rounds his desk and touches his thumb under my chin as he brushes past.
“What have you done?” I say to his back as he walks into Mr. Bexley’s office. I scuttle into Helene’s, rubbing my chin.
“I agree,” she says, laying the document aside. “This is a good idea. Did you see how the Gamins and Bexleys sat apart in the team meeting? I’m tired of it. We haven’t done anything as a team since the merger-planning day. I’m impressed that you and Joshua came together.”
I hope my weird brain doesn’t file away her last filthy-sounding sentence.
“We are working out our differences.” I have no trace of lie in my voice.
“I’ll talk to Bexley at our four o’clock battle royale. What are your ideas?”
“I’ve found a corporate retreat that’s only fifteen minutes off the highway. It’s one of those places with whiteboards all over the walls.”
“Sounds expensive.” Helene makes a face, which I had already anticipated.
“I’ve run the numbers. We were under the training budget for this financial year.”
“So what will we do at this corporate love-in?”
“I’ve already come up with several team-building activities. We’ll do them in a round-robin style, rotating each group so teams get regularly mixed up. I’d like to be the facilitator for the day. I want to end this war between the Bexleys and Gamins.”
“People absolutely hate team activities,” Helene points out.
I can’t argue. It’s a corporate truth universally acknowledged that workers would