cheeks glowing pink, hair blue-black. My mouth is cherry red, but my lipstick is long gone.
A solid meal has clearly revived me, but I wouldn’t mind betting I always look like this after a period of Josh’s undivided attention.
“Keep. It. Together,” I tell myself sternly as a woman walks into the bathroom and gives me a weird look. I dry my hands and run out.
Chapter 20
The evening is perfumed by the thunderclouds overhead. He’s leaning against the car, looking across the highway. There’s a strange kind of grace in the heavy twist of his body. If I had to label the image, it would be Yearning.
“Hey. Everything okay?”
He looks at me with an expression that makes my heart shake. Like he’s reminding himself I’m actually here. Like I’m not just in his head.
“Are you sad?”
“Not yet.” He closes his eyes.
“I’ll drive for a bit.” I hold out my hand.
He shakes his head. “You’re my guest. I’ll drive. You’re tired.”
“Oh, I’m your guest now?” I put as much menace as I can into my walk and he puts both hands behind his back. I smile at him and he smiles back. I’m surprised the pinprick stars above us don’t explode into silver powder. The sadness I caught in his eyes is burned away by a spark of amusement.
“My hostage. My blackmailed, unwilling captive. Stockholm Shortcake.”
“Keys.” I put my arms around his waist to get them from his closed fist. Then I lean against him and tighten my arms.
“Let go. Come on.” I extract the key, but he hugs my shoulders. We stand there for another long moment.
Cars whip past in a steady stream.
“I want you to know I don’t expect anything from you this weekend,” Josh says above my head.
I lean back and look up at him. “Whatever happens, I’m pretty sure we’re going to be alive come Monday morning. Unless your sexuality is as deadly as I suspect, in which case, I’m a goner.”
“But,” he protests helplessly. I hug him harder and press my cheek against his solar plexus.
“It’s going to happen, Josh. We just need to get it out of our systems. I think that’s what it’s all been building toward.”
“You sound a little resigned.”
“I can only apologize in advance for the things I’ll do to you.”
He laughs and shivers and pushes me away.
“Look, it’s just one weekend.” I keep my voice light. I think I convince us both with it.
I have to jiggle the driver’s seat forward about a mile, necessitating quite a lot of jerky pelvic thrusts.
He slides the passenger seat back without comment and watches me as I struggle. I snap on my seat belt and angle the rearview mirror down about a mile.
“Want a phone book to sit on? How’d you get so small?”
“I shrank in the wash.” I navigate us back to the highway.
“Over halfway there now.” His knee has started jiggling.
“Try to relax.” I’ve never known Josh to be nervous before. I feel him turn to stare at me. It’s all we ever do.
“Why do we do it? Stare at each other?”
“I know why I do it. But you go first.” He thinks I won’t call his bluff, so I do.
“I’m always trying to work out what you’re thinking.” I toss him a triumphant glance, as if to say, See, I can be honest. Sort of.
“I stare because I like looking at you. You’re interesting to look at.”
“Urg. Interesting. Worst compliment ever. My poor shriveled ego.”
Immediately I give myself a little mental slap. Fishing for compliments is a cardinal sin. “Never mind, I was only joking. Hey, look at that old farmhouse. I want to live there.”
“It’s mainly your eyes.” His voice hangs in the space between my shoulder and his. A fine mist of rain has started to grit on the windshield. I grip the steering wheel tighter.
“Those absolutely insane eyes. Eyes like I’ve never seen before.”